Apologies for this being a rather long ranting post but I need to get it out of my system. As I get older I am becoming increasingly more grumpy and intolerant, and I seem to be firing on all grumpy cylinders at the moment.
And nothing raises my grumpy levels more than this time of year. Not Christmas itself - I actually love Christmas and if it didn't exist they would have to invent it to brighten up these cold, dark winter days. However, the irony hasn't escaped me that for what is supposed to be a happy, hopeful and peaceful time, it's anything but.
The torrent of Christmas TV ads with dreary slow songs (a.k.a. "the John Lewis effect") all urging you to spend spend spend, as if that will really make a difference to your life. TV shows and ads building up an unrealistic expectation of what Christmas should be like, rather than the reality.
Particularly in these times of economic gloom, Christmas overspending is not only wrong, it's offensive and obscene. Cash-strapped families are being placed under further stress and resorting to vile moneylenders in the respectable guise of 'payday loans' so that their children won't be bullied at school for having the wrong type of presents.
Our parents, growing up during and after the war years, literally had nothing. This period, when all you got in your stocking was a piece of fruit and an annual, or a doll if you were lucky, is often mocked by comedians. Yet when you speak to those who lived through that time, they have only happy and fond memories of their childhood Christmas.
Now, people buy televisions for two year old children - WHAT???? - and it seems that your love can only be measured by how many multiples of £100 you spend on someone. WRONG. Will they love you any more? No. They'll just wait for you to top that, next year. While there are people in the world who don't know where their next meal is coming from.
Then there is the 'I must buy a present for...' syndrome. Why must you buy a present for some obscure nephew or other? I'm with the money saving guru Martin Lewis on this one: 'ban unnecessary Christmas presents'. Give the money to charity instead.
(Oh and whilst I'm on a rant, if you're clearing out good stuff, give it to a charity shop, rather than one of those places which give you about 50p for 10 kilos or whatever. I once saw someone I know, who is so well-off she only needs to work part-time, going into one of those 'we buy your clothes for cash' places with bags and bags of stuff. Is there no limit to some people's greed?)
Then there are the subtle reminders that your Christmas experience is never going to be worth as much as theirs...
"of course you don't have many people to buy for, do you?"
I am regularly reminded that you-are-not-a-parent-therefore-Christmas-is-immediately-devalued. The "Christmas is for the children" brigade. There seems to be this notion that Christmas is irrelevant if you live in a child-free world. Well, it's not. It's better.
"of course you're not having a big dinner, are you?"
The subtle reminders that you-don't-have-a-big-family-therefore-Christmas-dinner-is immediately-devalued. I'm not the person slaving over a hot turkey for hours on end! (We have never had turkey for Christmas dinner).
The Christmas Card list
As almost all of our closest family relatives are no longer with us, the 'family' is more a group noun for various cousins and second cousins whom you never see from one year to the next. In fact, they only get in touch with you when there's a family funeral. Funny how they never get in touch when there's good news!
But they should know how to spell your surname. Or at least write the name of the town you live in on the envelope. Oh, and it would be nice if they told us that they had a new partner so we could include their name on the card. And one more thing, can they please tell us when they've moved house before we sent their card to the old address? These are not just hypothetical gripes, they're all true and have all happened to us over the past couple of years. (Before you suggest 'e-cards', my mum's in charge of the card sending and she'll have none of that).
The forced jollity
This one's mainly in relation to office night outs. I know it's the season of goodwill and all that, apart from the people you like (who happen to be all the people in my section - yes I'm very lucky) would you really want to be stuck at a table with someone you can't stand? And what's the point of getting yourself glammed up to go to a night out to eat mass-produced substandard food followed by dancing to the musical equivalent of Guantanamo Bay? Doesn't sound so appealing now, does it?
Let's get the deccies up!
Last week, the office Christmas decorations were going up and I couldn't even raise a smile, never mind any enthusiasm. Which is a shame really, as the more enthusiastic and festive members of the team put in a lot of effort and did a great job. I'm just too stressed, anxious and agitated at the moment to care. The lead-up to Christmas in my office is always a stressful one, and this year is more stressful than most. It's been the busiest year I can ever remember, and some of us will still be feeling the fall-out of it for a while to come... :(
Shop till you drop
I've bought most of my presents online this year. It's the best way to go if you want to avoid the 'joys' of the traditional town/city shopping experience, bad-tempered parents, screaming children and Bing Crosby singing 'Happy Holiday'. Oh and if you need to go to Primark, you'd better be prepared to queue just to make your way from one end of the shop to the other!
All these rants aside, I do love Christmas. Because the best Christmas is what you make it, the one that makes you happy, the one that is on your own terms, not the one that people think you should have. Now, I'm off to wrap a few (necessary) presents!
