Thoughts from my day off

I have been off work today, as per my current working pattern where I work the same hours per fortnight, only over 9 longer days which therefore entitles me to a day off every fortnight.  It is a most wonderful thing, I have to say, and here's hoping that it becomes a more permanent arrangement, all being well.  I have now been doing this for 4 months and at times I have felt that my day off's been all work and no play, so I made sure that today would be a more leisurely one, where I stayed at home, took it easy, chilled out, listened to music, and put some research into future holiday destinations.  So it's been a big success!

May usually means spring holiday time, which means that exciting things are imminent....of course I will be writing about our spring holiday over at EuropeCrazy.  Although there was initially a plan for our spring holiday, alternatives are also being considered therefore at this point I really can't say where we are going, because I genuinely don't know... It could be somewhere old, or somewhere new, or the combination of an old country with a new destination.  It could be anywhere.....more to follow!

Over the past 24 hours I've been coming to terms with the possibility of another Scottish independence referendum, as proposed yesterday by Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. I have already heard many negative thoughts about it, but in my own view I think it's worth another try.  The outcome of the 'Brexit' referendum revealed very distinctive differences across the UK and I think that many of us in this part of the world do not relate to the rather negative views which emerged from much of that referendum campaign.  Before you ask, I am not a 'Scottish Nationalist' but in the last referendum I clearly examined every argument in detail and formed my own opinion, going from a definite no to yes, for the reason that I felt that we could build a very different, progressive, compassionate and inclusive nation.   However I also respect and acknowledge the views of those who chose to remain in the UK; for there were many unresolved questions/issues which will no doubt raise their ugly head again in the referendum campaign and will still need answered.  My own view, however, has not changed; I will vote yes again, because I think it's time for self-determination.  I know many other people who voted 'no' in 2014 but who would definitely vote 'yes' this time round....but I know many, many others who are much more determined to vote 'no' so it's going to be a bumpy road ahead....

What happened this week?

I came to the conclusion that flexible working may be one of the best things that's happened to me. It's a pleasure working longer days when there is a day off at the end of it.  I had my first day off this week and used my time wisely.  I did some long-overlooked jobs at home.  I went shopping.  I watched some of my huge backlog of TV shows.  Oh, and I even wrote some blog posts.  All in all, a big success.

I also learned that I can cope with these unseasonably below-zero temperatures which we have been experiencing over the past week.  I guess that the built-in menopausal "central heating", which usually has a negative impact on my quality of life over the summer months has been a positive factor in the winter (apart from over-heated public transport or department stores/shopping malls which remain a nightmare).  You would usually expect these temperatures in January, for example, but November has skipped the autumnal and gone straight to winter.  On the plus side, there hasn't been any snow, or sleet, but these days have also been sunny and bright as well, making the extreme cold much more bearable.

Yesterday I was also reminded about how much I hate shopping, something which I once used to enjoy.  The enjoyment has been replaced by tiredness, exhaustion and sheer panic when being confronted with the Christmas shopping crowds.  It would appear that the Christmas season is getting earlier every year as well.  I've seen several houses with all their lights and decorations up since last week.  Oh well, each to their own.

Things I learned this week (part 2)

The news that my new working pattern had been approved - and it's due to start imminently - sparked a feeling of happiness which I hadn't felt for a long long time.  I will now be working the "9 day fortnight".  The hard work starts very soon as I will now need to work longer days with early starts, late finishes and shorter lunches - but it's all worth it because I'll have an additional 2 days off per month in addition to my usual annual leave entitlement.

After receiving the news, I was buzzing and spent the rest of the week on a natural high.  Which was fine for me, although it became very annoying for everyone else :) I will be on leave this Monday but the fun starts on Tuesday!

Another life-changing thing?

In my endless quest to improve my wellbeing and achieve that elusive 'work-life balance' I've started the ball rolling and put in a request for a new working pattern.  In a few weeks I will learn if my application has been successful.  It's out of my hands now so I just hope that the result will be favourable.  More news to follow....

Year of change (part 2)

Just as a follow-up to that last post: over the last two weeks, I made some very radical changes to the living room - every piece of furniture disappeared, either to charity shops or to be uplifted by the council.  Seven days ago, my new sofa and chair arrived - very comfortable they are too! - and a few days later they were joined by new sideboards and cabinets and a new fireside rug.  It has been a very hectic few weeks and the upheaval almost matched that of moving house :( and as for painting and decorating the staircase, well this was much more challenging than I'd imagined.

However it's only the beginning and there is so much more to do, but I'm taking a well-earned rest for the next week or two before picking up the paintbrushes once again.

As I said in the last post, it's a year of change.  And some of these changes have been very drastic and sudden, with some unexpected results.  Things have happened to other people and this has left me feeling a bit shocked and sad, and disappointed.  I have so many feelings running around my head about that whole situation, I can't really write about them here, but suffice to say that I'm trying to come to terms with some big changes in my daily life.  I guess you can't really change things which are outwith your control, but I just need to find some new strategies to deal with new situations, or at least to carry on with the calm attitude which got me through recent weeks.

One very positive change in my life has been the opportunity to rebuild some family relationships, and that seems to be going well.

But overall, at the moment, all I feel is exhaustion from that very busy start to the year, and right now I feel a bit sadder than I've been in a while.  But it will pass.

Bad times

It's been 6 weeks now since I lost my mum and, well, it's really kicking in now.  I feel sad, distressed, distracted, and lost.  In the beginning there was important stuff to do, things to be seen to, and not a day went by without some official matter to be dealt with. But now, there is just an undescribable emptiness, and a sadness which is impossible to overcome. Only the love and support of faithful travelling companion, and our impending holiday, is getting me through it all.  But otherwise, over the past couple of weeks I've struggled to get through every day, and this week has been the most overwhelming one yet.  Every moment of every day, I am reminded of how much I miss my best friend.  Particularly when I've had a bad day. In the past I would have come home and she would have given me a big hug and made everything better.  I miss her so much, and getting on with life is turning out to be even more of a challenge than I'd ever imagined.   But that's not really surprising. For it's hard to lose a loved one, but to lose not only your mother but your best friend, whom you've spent your whole life with, is just too much to bear.

Wednesday was particularly difficult, with all the talk at work about arranging a Christmas night out. Regular readers of Random Ramblings will be aware that I struggle with the whole concept of Christmas at the best of times, so needless to say I just can't face the thought of it this year. And I don't do nights out anyway, least of all in a year when my world has fallen apart.  The inevitability of that time of year approaching was enough to tip me over the edge.  There is also one Christmas-related thing which I've been involved in for the last few years, which inevitably dominates (and arguably ruins) the lead-up to the 'festive season' but that is outwith my control,  And I know it's still 19 weeks away, but once you hit August and September then it's downhill all the way.  In past years I've written too much on here about how miserable the lead up to Christmas can be, so I've decided not to mention it so much this year.  And anyway, faithful travelling companion has a plan to get me through Christmas and I'm going with that.

At least I still have blogging to keep me going, so I am planning to publish some outstanding blog posts over at EuropeCrazy in the next week or so, including those long-overdue Eurovision reviews and some other stuff as well.

Taking stock

Beginning the third month of the first quarter of 2015, and only three weeks away from the start of British Summer Time - yes! - although that feels like a long way off, as it's just been bitterly cold for weeks, and thanks to that very chilly wind it feels even colder than it was at the beginning of the year.  I guess that's nothing though, compared to the outrageously cold winter weather which affects many countries at this time of year.  

My last post on here was pretty hopeful: I'm settled into my part-time working routine and making it count as I'm continuing to tackle the decluttering and neglected jobs at home, and even found myself in the garden yesterday!  

Unfortunately my fitness regime crashed after about a week: I pulled a muscle in my back/shoulder area after carrying some very heavy shopping and was in a lot of pain for a while.  And then a lot of other stuff in my life just spiralled out of control over the last fortnight, with the result that the fitness plan was replaced by binge/emotional eating yet again to cope with it all. I don't really want to write about all that stuff, suffice to say that the strain of the past couple of weeks has left me feeling upset and exhausted and I just want to get my life back on track again.

Anyway, some good news as faithful travelling companion and I are now planning our spring holiday (expect an announcement in the next couple of weeks) so this will be my target to get fit and shed a few pounds.  What I am most looking forward to is improving my walking fitness, and not feeling so tired/lethargic all the time.  I have a mountain of draft blog posts to finish/post but have been too tired lately, so I will get round to posting them eventually :)

In the meantime, there's an exercise bike calling my name....

So that was January...

At the end of that horrible nightmare which was 2014, I decided to throw that year in the dustbin and start 2015 with a blank sheet.  2015 already seems to be an improvement on 2014.

The best thing of all was that I started working part-time.  It immediately had a great impact on my mood, mental health and home life.  Long-neglected tasks are now being seen to at home, I'm managing my day to day work more effectively, it's all good so far.  It's my day off today, so I've had a lie-in! I'm typing this blog post and catching up with a few jobs at home. 

I guess the only down side is the financial aspect, as the pay cut has forced me to do some serious budgeting. However there comes a time when you realise that there are other important priorities, and I'm quite happy as long as I have enough to live on and save up for holidays of course!

I have had to make some big sacrifices in other areas, cutting unnecessary spending and stepping up bargain hunting to a new level.  I used to be a compulsive shopper but this habit has now been well and truly curbed!

Last year I gained just over two stones in weight in the space of 9 months.  That's a pretty frightening statistic, but I didn't feel that it was the right time to throw myself into a fitness regime until a few days ago.  Hello again to the exercise bike, weights, mini stepper and walking to and from work.  I'm beginning to feel the benefit already, although there is still a long, long way to go.  I'm not dieting but slowly reintroducing healthier eating back into my life.  The other reason why dieting isn't really happening is that one of my plans for this year was to learn to bake and my first attempt was pretty successful.  I made cupcakes on a day off in January using my brand new food mixer and it went well.  (I'll post the pictures on here later once I upload them from my phone).  Assignment no.2 turned out to be the Great Meringue Disaster.  I guess that's one for a later date.  Meringue fail aside, I'm planning the next instalment.  Be very afraid *evil laugh*.

I'm trying to throw myself into mindfulness, which appears to be working for me most of the time.  Even the below-freezing temperatures haven't got me down!  Last week we had a lot of snow which still hasn't melted.  Anyway I'm taking everything one day at a time, but I'd be a liar if I said there hadn't been dark days over the past month: there have been more good days than bad days though, and the old 'January blues' thing didn't really happen as I was actually relieved to get Christmas, and all that surrounds it, out of the way.  One very positive thing was that I managed to overcome my terrifying social anxiety to go to what turned out to be a very enjoyable evening last Friday with faithful travelling companion and his lovely friends. 

I took a month out of blogging and tweeting, although the planned internet detox didn't quite get off the ground.  (Will maybe try that again in the summer, the way I did a couple of years back).   I finally got round to getting my laptop screen fixed as well.  Just in time for throwing myself wholeheartedly into Eurovision season of course!

Today's bulletin

Juggling stress, anxiety, exhaustion, depression and that whole feeling of being completely overwhelmed...and even the diet's on hold for a couple of weeks as that would just completely push me over the edge. 

There is some happy stuff coming up very soon though, so it's not all bad.

My winter shutdown

I started 2014, not with New Year resolutions doomed to fail, but with realistic, clear-headed goals. One thing was for sure: I didn't want a repeat of 2013, which despite its high points (mostly holiday-related) will be remembered for unprecedented levels of stress and anxiety which led to comfort eating, weight gain and ill health.

So, with January almost over, I'm taking stock.  6 lbs lighter than I was at the start of 2014, feeling considerably fitter, the foot injury's gone from crippling to manageable.  I've had a new mattress for exactly two weeks which has improved my sleep immensely, and the other health problem I've had since September is finally being kept in check.  There has been a lot of decluttering at EuropeCrazy HQ, so I'm not going to end up on one of those 'world's biggest hoarder' documentaries after all, and the local charity shops have been the beneficiaries of some rather fab brand-new-but-doesn't-fit-me-anymore clothing.  So, it's all good.

However, it would appear that in my day-to-day life that I seem to have reached a level of social detachment of Saga Noren-type proportions, which has raised some concern that I might be depressed again, when in fact I'm not. I may have 'shut down' for the winter but I'm just in the zone.  I'm focused.  Just trying to get stuff done.  You know how they always say on a flight that you should fit your own oxygen mask first?  Well, that's what I'm doing....getting my own life in order so that I can deal with all the challenges ahead, including forthcoming changes in my working environment.  The next few weeks will be very trying, but there are also good personal things happening which might just balance the trepidation which change brings.

So, all in all, I'm getting organised.  Blogging, as ever, has been a casualty of 'other stuff' but I'll try and fit a few posts in here and there when I can :))

Tis the season to be grumpy

Apologies for this being a rather long ranting post but I need to get it out of my system.  As I get older I am becoming increasingly more grumpy and intolerant, and I seem to be firing on all grumpy cylinders at the moment. 

And nothing raises my grumpy levels more than this time of year.  Not Christmas itself - I actually love Christmas and if it didn't exist they would have to invent it to brighten up these cold, dark winter days.  However, the irony hasn't escaped me that for what is supposed to be a happy, hopeful and peaceful time, it's anything but.

The torrent of Christmas TV ads with dreary slow songs (a.k.a. "the John Lewis effect") all urging you to spend spend spend, as if that will really make a difference to your life.  TV shows and ads building up an unrealistic expectation of what Christmas should be like, rather than the reality. 

Particularly in these times of economic gloom, Christmas overspending is not only wrong, it's offensive and obscene.  Cash-strapped families are being placed under further stress and resorting to vile moneylenders in the respectable guise of 'payday loans' so that their children won't be bullied at school for having the wrong type of presents.  

Our parents, growing up during and after the war years, literally had nothing.  This period, when all you got in your stocking was a piece of fruit and an annual, or a doll if you were lucky, is often mocked by comedians.  Yet when you speak to those who lived through that time, they have only happy and fond memories of their childhood Christmas. 

Now, people buy televisions for two year old children - WHAT???? - and it seems that your love can only be measured by how many multiples of £100 you spend on someone.  WRONG.  Will they love you any more?  No.  They'll just wait for you to top that, next year. While there are people in the world who don't know where their next meal is coming from.

Then there is the  'I must buy a present for...' syndrome.  Why must you buy a present for some obscure nephew or other?  I'm with the money saving guru Martin Lewis on this one: 'ban unnecessary Christmas presents'.  Give the money to charity instead. 

(Oh and whilst I'm on a rant, if you're clearing out good stuff, give it to a charity shop, rather than one of those places which give you about 50p for 10 kilos or whatever.  I once saw someone I know, who is so well-off she only needs to work part-time, going into one of those 'we buy your clothes for cash' places with bags and bags of stuff.  Is there no limit to some people's greed?)

Then there are the subtle reminders that your Christmas experience is never going to be worth as much as theirs...

"of course you don't have many people to buy for, do you?"
I am regularly reminded that you-are-not-a-parent-therefore-Christmas-is-immediately-devalued.  The "Christmas is for the children" brigade.  There seems to be this notion that Christmas is irrelevant if you live in a child-free world.  Well, it's not.  It's better. 

"of course you're not having a big dinner, are you?"
The subtle reminders that you-don't-have-a-big-family-therefore-Christmas-dinner-is immediately-devalued.  I'm not the person slaving over a hot turkey for hours on end!  (We have never had turkey for Christmas dinner).

The Christmas Card list

As almost all of our closest family relatives are no longer with us, the 'family' is more a group noun for various cousins and second cousins whom you never see from one year to the next.  In fact, they only get in touch with you when there's a family funeral.  Funny how they never get in touch when there's good news! 

But they should know how to spell your surname.  Or at least write the name of the town you live in on the envelope.  Oh, and it would be nice if they told us that they had a new partner so we could include their name on the card.  And one more thing, can they please tell us when they've moved house before we sent their card to the old address?  These are not just hypothetical gripes, they're all true and have all happened to us over the past couple of years.  (Before you suggest 'e-cards', my mum's in charge of the card sending and she'll have none of that). 

The forced jollity

This one's mainly in relation to office night outs. I know it's the season of goodwill and all that, apart from the people you like (who happen to be all the people in my section - yes I'm very lucky) would you really want to be stuck at a table with someone you can't stand?  And what's the point of getting yourself glammed up to go to a night out to eat mass-produced substandard food followed by dancing to the musical equivalent of Guantanamo Bay?  Doesn't sound so appealing now, does it?

Let's get the deccies up!

Last week, the office Christmas decorations were going up and I couldn't even raise a smile, never mind any enthusiasm.  Which is a shame really, as the more enthusiastic and festive members of the team put in a lot of effort and did a great job.  I'm just too stressed, anxious and agitated at the moment to care.  The lead-up to Christmas in my office is always a stressful one, and this year is more stressful than most.  It's been the busiest year I can ever remember, and some of us will still be feeling the fall-out of it for a while to come... :(

Shop till you drop

I've bought most of my presents online this year.  It's the best way to go if you want to avoid the 'joys' of the traditional town/city shopping experience, bad-tempered parents, screaming children and Bing Crosby singing 'Happy Holiday'.  Oh and if you need to go to Primark, you'd better be prepared to queue just to make your way from one end of the shop to the other!

All these rants aside, I do love Christmas.  Because the best Christmas is what you make it, the one that makes you happy, the one that is on your own terms, not the one that people think you should have.  Now, I'm off to wrap a few (necessary) presents!

Welcome to October / BMI, baby!

It's been a long week.  Although it was my birthday last Monday, it was overshadowed by the triple threat of:

• returning to work after 2 weeks off
• The-Virus-Which-Refuses-To-Die despite antibiotics and every lozenge and decongestant imaginable;
• the impending doom of jury service.

So as you can imagine, I've had better birthdays, although the lovely presents and cards certainly softened the blow of another year on the slippery slope towards The-Next-Big-Landmark-Birthday....

Work wasn't that bad after all. I'm trying to adopt a more positive attitude to avoid the stress and anxiety of the past few months repeating itself.  

The virus still refuses to die, although the cough is no longer coming at millisecond intervals.  Could do without my voice breaking up in mid-phone-call at work though; I start speaking as myself and end the sentence as Barry White.  

Oh and the jury service....along with a couple of hundred other people, I attended court but wasn't selected. It turned out to be a very unsettling week for this couple of hundred people, as we had to phone court daily - twice daily some days - to find out if we were required.  Happily it was all resolved by Friday and we can all get on with our lives as normal for another couple of years or so before the dreaded citation envelope drops through the letterbox once again. 

I ended the week with a sense of triumph and a delicious birthday dinner with faithful travelling companion at our favourite local Indian restaurant.  

Talk of food brings me onto one of this blog's regular topics....I've tried lots of different ways to lose weight, but one thing is clear.  It has to go. 

My health's not as great as it used to be, and the doctor told me my blood pressure is "slightly high" which after the stress of the last few months, doesn't surprise me in the least.  I've been reading a lot about BMI - no, not the now-defunct airline, although I wouldn't mind another holiday! - body mass index, which defines whether you are 'normal', 'overweight' or 'obese'.  http://www.nhs.uk/tools/pages/healthyweightcalculator.aspx?WT.mc_id=101007 

Obese starts at 30, and my current BMI is 29.  So major alarm bells are ringing all over the place.  I've decided not to go for any quick fixes, but focus my next weight loss and fitness plan over the next 12 months, between now and my next birthday.  To get my BMI down from 29 (overweight/borderline obese) to 25 (overweight/borderline normal) will actually involve losing 24lbs which is a big ask.  But over 12 months that just works out at losing 2lbs per month, which sounds so much easier and 'do-able'.  Here goes....

I get knocked down, but I get up again.

Recent weeks haven't been great.  I've been experiencing lots of stress and anxiety, or more to the point I've been struggling to deal with it.  Last week was particularly distressing as I was 'nominated' to speak at a work event in front of a very large group of people in a large hall. It was a pretty embarrassing experience all in all, but I'm beginning to laugh about it now.  Which is a big change from last week, when I couldn't laugh about anything.

My mood swings are on the up again, and I'm getting back to my usual upbeat cheery self (although still increasingly grumpy about almost everyone and everything in the world).  I have so much to be thankful for and that keeps me on the bright side.

I'm heading into one of my favourite times of year, the spring holiday.  Although it couldn't be more different this year... Out goes the short break and in comes a week long Eastern Mediterranean cruise!  Just a few hours after the credits roll on the Eurovision final, we'll be heading off on our adventure.  It's a whole new experience for us and of course I'll be writing my travel journal every step of the way and publishing excerpts from the cruise diaries over at EuropeCrazy.

In the meantime, there's lots of planning and preparation to be getting on with, so that's what I'm concentrating on this weekend!

Snow is falling all around me...

....well not actually at the minute, but the fact remains that the last few weeks have been pretty freaky on the weather front as we had a lot of snow, which as usual managed to bring the place to a standstill, and some very icy winds which made Scotland feel more like Siberia.  Last week it was snowy and sunny at the same time.  You know all about that British obsession with the weather? Well, who can blame us when it's so unpredictable!  At least the snow has stayed away for Easter weekend.

During one of the coldest spells a couple of weeks ago, the boiler at EuropeCrazy HQ developed a major fault which resulted in us being left with no heating/hot water for various periods of time and a continuous 48 hour spell.  No wonder I was comfort eating (more about that later....)

I thought it would be a good opportunity to post a pic of my two little Easter chicks.  Aren't they cute?  These are knitted by the mum of one of my friends at work, who is shortly due to deliver a little chick of her own in May.  There's a massive baby boom in my office at the moment which makes me wonder -was the TV really that bad a few months ago?? :)

So what happened to the fitness regime, I hear you ask?  Well, sad to say, it crashed and burned.    The snow/bad weather put paid to my long outdoor walks, I've been comfort eating and snacking relentlessly, and some days I'm so mentally and physically exhausted that I have no energy to exercise after work. 

But with only 7 weeks to go until my holiday, can it be turned around?  I think it can, although not with as significant results as I'd hoped for.  If I'd continued the February fitness regime I might have been looking at a dropped dress size by now.  Oh well these things happen....as that well-known saying goes, "the diet starts tomorrow" and it'll once again be time to start paying in sweat.  And that's no April Fool! 

This time, we'll get it right

For some bizarre reason, I'm borrowing the post title from the England World Cup Squad football song from 1982. They weren't singing about Christmas shopping of course, but I thought it was an appropriate title tonight.

Today saw part 2 of my Christmas shopping bonanza. In 2011, I have decided to be even more organised than ever and get as much Christmas shopping done as early as possible. Today, like last Saturday, was very productive. A jewellery blitz in Next was followed by a card/gift bag blitz in Card Factory and then it was on to Boots for a 3 for 2 on Champneys spa stuff. Finally. I've moved on from all the Sanctuary goodies to something new :)

It's been a good weekend all in all. Last night, we finally made it to our favourite local Indian restaurant for my birthday meal, 2 week later than planned as I hadn't been too well around that time. Happily the work-stress is finally starting to ease off, but it's still the worst time of year for that....roll on January!

Goodbye work, hello relaxation (well for a couple of weeks anyway...!)

So although I'm not a royalist by any means, I thought it was most considerate of Wills 'n' Kate to tack their wedding on to a public holiday weekend = et voilà, the four day weekend (for all those of us lucky enough to get that...and apologies to everyone having to work it).


In something totally unrelated, I'm still loving Yankee Candles and treated myself to some new ones this week, although tonight I'm burning an old familiar aroma: baby powder.

(picture above courtesy of www.yankeecandle.co.uk)

Tomorrow: pre-holiday stuff all day and all the control-freak-military-precision that involves, combined with a curious eye on that big event.

Long weekends and holidays

2011 has been pretty rubbish so far, in many many ways, yet I'm feeling some optimism now. Easter always seems to signal a positive turning point, and although it's been a long time coming, it is almost here at last. So there's a nice long weekend to look forward to, followed by a three day working week, followed by another nice long weekend which nicely rolls into a week off. This usually involves a short break in a European city: I guarantee that there will be an announcement this weekend!!

It's been a very stressful time of late as I've been involved in updating my training course at work, which has been very rewarding but which along with other life/work stuff has mentally and physically taken its toll :( I was involved in delivering the first of the new updated courses yesterday and today, which went well, however I'm going through yet another bout of fatigue where I'm tired all the time, even after a good night's sleep. Therefore I'm welcoming this holiday period as an opportunity to unwind. There are so many outstanding household tasks demanding my attention at the moment but I'll have to prioritise them - after all, you know what they say...'all work and no play' etc.

So there will be time for fun, and retail therapy, and pre-holiday planning, and getting out and enjoying this rare spell of dry warm weather too. And maybe even a little bit of blogging over the weekend :))

Nothing left in the tank

A little continuation of the previous post....it's been a week of self-destruction in dieting terms, as I completely quit for a whole week and proceeded to eat and drink all the things I really shouldn't have been eating and drinking. It was fun though...but you get tired of it too, so in time-honoured fashion, tomorrow is another day and it starts all over again...lots of home-made soup, water, fruit and other healthy things, as the double chin is beginning to reappear as is that spare tyre :(

I guess I made the decision to go off the rails for a week for comfort eating purposes, as I'm feeling really stressed at the moment, well between Mondays and Fridays anyway. I'm involved in a piece of work which is pretty demanding and time-limited, and basically I haven't got anywhere with it. What do you do when there's nothing left in the tank? When you start thinking but your mind feels empty? How can I overcome that....and explain to a group of people who are looking to me for ideas, that I don't have any? I've only got tomorrow to come up with something: let's just say I'll be a lot happier when Tuesday is over.

EDIT 28.02.2011: I got a little bit of inspiration and a couple of ideas: let's hope it's enough.

In search of the blogging mojo and time management skills

I'm a little lost on both fronts at the moment....had hoped that my little blogging-break in January would bring all the hunger and inspiration back. OK, they came back, but I'm still struggling with a lack of time, as I continue to catch-up with various other things which were put on hold over that last, manic, crazy, wonderful 12 months. And despite having lots to blog about, for some reason, everything seems to go a blank when I sit down at the computer....

Been a bit run-down/stressed of late and that's not helping matters. Then there was the two weeks when I was literally brought to a standstill by that crippling lower back nerve pain. Then (cue ad voice-over!) I discovered Voltarol Emulgel, which if you'll pardon the pun, has brought me "back" again to fitness levels approaching some kind of normality at last. Today I walked to and from work without any pain, and not even one crippling twinge. It's (hopefully) getting better at last....!

Time out

Got a day away from my desk and took myself away to another room for some time-out to catch up on work before finishing up for hols soon.

It was nice because I took my iPod with me (a change from our now music-free office environment) and I definitely found that a playlist of Empire of the Sun, Jamiroquai, Oskar Linnros and the complete works of Salem Al Fakir boosted my administrative productivity, alongside my self-inflicted strategy to boost it even more:- lights off + heating turned off + window open = type faster. I sound like a wannabe dictator in the making, although I'm far too nice for that.