EuropeCrazy's Christmas Challenge starts here!

What's that sound?  Well, it's the sound of the internet (ok then, the 7 or 8 people who still loyally read this blog!) groaning at the thought of yet another one of my attempts to lose weight.  Since I came back from holiday I've made a couple of feeble attempts and joined a pedometer challenge at work which was a real wake-up call - everyone always thinks that I do a lot of walking but I was shocked to discover that most days I didn't manage to achieve the required 10,000 steps a day.

It's just over 7 weeks until Christmas so I'm keen to shift a few pounds and more importantly inches before gluttony season kicks in.  My attempts this year haven't been too successful, but with the year I've had, that doesn't surprise me.  But rather than focusing on failure, I've decided to rewind to a time when I achieved genuine success - the period between autumn 2010 and spring 2011 when I went down to my lowest weight in years and dropped dress sizes. Back then I was on Weight Watchers whereas now I'm on Slimming World.  Both are very good plans but the key thing is to stick to them; over the past few months my commitment hasn't lasted beyond a week (!) so this time it's all about meal planning, food diaries, and the reintroduction of exercise.

Oh an it's weigh-in day tomorrow....

Adventures in wallpapering / Retail therapy

I decided to take a couple of days off work yesterday and today - it's a very nice feeling still to have lots of annual leave left to take by this time of the year.

Over the last couple of weeks I've been gathering painting and decorating supplies together, as I've decided to paint or redecorate almost every part of my house in the coming weeks and months.

First for a new look was my bathroom, which I've treated to a nice new, stylish and modern look with grey/silver tiling-on-a-roll.  After removing the old wallpaper (which turned out to be a bigger challenge than I expected) this revealed a rather damaged wall full of holes and lumps and bumps. I'm not one for blowing my own trumpet but it's nice to discover a new talent for plastering walls!

After all the preparatory work, yesterday was wallpapering day.  When I was growing up, I was very lucky to have two very determined female role models in my life - my gran and my mum - whose basic philosophy in life was self-taught self-sufficiency.  So basically as I got older I learned to sew and make my own clothes, to paint and even fit carpets - although my carpet fitting days are now over (it's too stressful!).

The one thing I was always scared of was wallpapering, something mum and gran did with ease. But when mum and I moved into our current home several years ago, I was thrown in at the deep end and quickly learned this new skill.  But I was never really happy with that old papering job in the bathroom.  And every time I raised the subject with mum, she'd always come back with "there's nothing wrong with it!"

But the fact remained that, apart from being my own biggest critic and constantly striving for better, the bathroom was in need of a new look. I was talking to someone the other week who said that "you'll want to make the house your own" which immediately triggered a Louis Walsh moment :)

Anyway after hours of work - complicated, as you will see, by trying to match the wallpaper's very complex and random tiling layout (pictured above) - the job was finally done.  So please excuse me if I stand back and have a little happy and proud moment, because I'm very happy with how it turned out.  I've said this before, but even though mum's not physically with me, she's definitely with me all the time, guiding me along.  The voice in my head.  Although she always hated grey....

After a hard day's work it was time for a nice dinner last night with faithful travelling companion at one of our fave local eateries :))

Today was all about the October Shopping Trip, something I usually do at this time of year - buying a new winter jacket and new boots, as well as dipping my toes into the bottomless pit that is Christmas shopping!  My heart really goes out to the poor retail staff in a certain very popular card shop who will have to endure the Christmas songs on a repeat loop for the next 9 weeks - for it has started already!

As I've previously mentioned on here, I've gained a horrific amount of weight over the past year and a half and due to one thing or another, it's been pretty impossible to shift.  So it was with some regret that I had to go up yet another size for my new winter jacket (pictured above).  As for the boots, I finally found a pair which happily stretched to accommodate a pair of muscular - not fat! - calves which were always a problem even when I was a couple of stones lighter.

So today was a very productive day!  Back to work tomorrow and then I'm planning the most relaxing weekend in a long time - really need to write some blog posts too :)

The long and the short of it

On Thursday I went to my usual favourite local hairdresser at lunchtime for my occasional haircut. Nothing unusual there, but this time I went for something a bit more drastic than usual.  For most of my adult life I have had long hair, varying in length from just below the shoulder to waist-length, apart from a few years ago when I had all my hair cut into a spiky crop for a couple of years.  Around that time there seemed to be this notion that "you shouldn't have long hair when you are getting older".  But I was only in my mid-30s at the time, but looking back now, it's strange that I should have thought that way.

As the years went on I firmly believed that short hair was not me.  Long hair is versatile, you can style it and wear it a number of ways. But it can also be hard to manage, and when "the change" comes along you are faced with a new challenge - head sweats and soaking hair.  It's uncomfortable, and embarrassing when sweat is pouring out of your head, down your face, running into your eyes and making your eye make-up run. Looking around I now understand why so many women of my own age and older are all walking around with short hair.

On Thursday I sat in the chair in the salon and surprised my stylist with a different request from the usual.  This time round it's not the spiky crop of years ago.  I have never been a fan of the 'bob' haircut - it does look nice on some people but it's not really for me.  So asking for a layered bob was a new departure and a big risk.  But I dismissively chuckled "it's only hair!" as I sat in that chair watching strands of my long hair cascading to the floor.  My hair grows quickly, so at least if I don't like this style then it won't be long until it turns into something more my taste.

I returned to work where my drastic new hairstyle was very well-received.  They seem to be more enthusiastic about it than I am.  Yes, it is a very good haircut, but, well, it's just not me.  I think it makes me look older as well (although I met someone in the street the other day who exclaimed "it takes years off you!").  It's early days, but I can't see myself sticking with this hairstyle in the longer term, so I'm going to grow it out a bit and see what that looks like.  Anyway I'm not going to worry about it.  After all, it's only hair.

Small moments

I meant to blog last week but it's been a very busy week (apart from those outrageously lazy times). My birthday turned out to be a very special occasion.  I'm always at work on my birthday, apart from when it falls at weekends.  All my friends and colleagues at work made it a very special day.  It's as if I could feel this silent acknowledgement that my non-milestone birthday was to be just that bit more special this year than usual, after these horrible few months.  What a happy day I had, with lots of lovely gifts, beautiful cards and kind wishes.  

Of course it goes without saying that faithful travelling companion played a huge role in giving me a very happy birthday! :)

I've decided to throw myself into some major (and long overdue) painting, decorating and home improvement over the next few months, which will provide a major interest/distraction - not to mention some very hard work as I do all my own painting and decorating!  

It's now 14 weeks since I lost my mum.  And it is the small moments which continue to rip me to shreds.  Today my friend went to our GP for her flu vaccination.  And then it hit me hard.  This is October.  This is the month, possibly the week, when I should be taking mum to the doctor's for her flu jab.  But I'm not.  

I have never cried at work since mum died, but today I came pretty close, just because of that small moment.  And when those small moments happen it's like the world crashes to a halt.  But then it starts again, and I hear her voice telling me to get on with life again.