Small moments

I meant to blog last week but it's been a very busy week (apart from those outrageously lazy times). My birthday turned out to be a very special occasion.  I'm always at work on my birthday, apart from when it falls at weekends.  All my friends and colleagues at work made it a very special day.  It's as if I could feel this silent acknowledgement that my non-milestone birthday was to be just that bit more special this year than usual, after these horrible few months.  What a happy day I had, with lots of lovely gifts, beautiful cards and kind wishes.  

Of course it goes without saying that faithful travelling companion played a huge role in giving me a very happy birthday! :)

I've decided to throw myself into some major (and long overdue) painting, decorating and home improvement over the next few months, which will provide a major interest/distraction - not to mention some very hard work as I do all my own painting and decorating!  

It's now 14 weeks since I lost my mum.  And it is the small moments which continue to rip me to shreds.  Today my friend went to our GP for her flu vaccination.  And then it hit me hard.  This is October.  This is the month, possibly the week, when I should be taking mum to the doctor's for her flu jab.  But I'm not.  

I have never cried at work since mum died, but today I came pretty close, just because of that small moment.  And when those small moments happen it's like the world crashes to a halt.  But then it starts again, and I hear her voice telling me to get on with life again.