Thoughts from my day off

I have been off work today, as per my current working pattern where I work the same hours per fortnight, only over 9 longer days which therefore entitles me to a day off every fortnight.  It is a most wonderful thing, I have to say, and here's hoping that it becomes a more permanent arrangement, all being well.  I have now been doing this for 4 months and at times I have felt that my day off's been all work and no play, so I made sure that today would be a more leisurely one, where I stayed at home, took it easy, chilled out, listened to music, and put some research into future holiday destinations.  So it's been a big success!

May usually means spring holiday time, which means that exciting things are imminent....of course I will be writing about our spring holiday over at EuropeCrazy.  Although there was initially a plan for our spring holiday, alternatives are also being considered therefore at this point I really can't say where we are going, because I genuinely don't know... It could be somewhere old, or somewhere new, or the combination of an old country with a new destination.  It could be anywhere.....more to follow!

Over the past 24 hours I've been coming to terms with the possibility of another Scottish independence referendum, as proposed yesterday by Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. I have already heard many negative thoughts about it, but in my own view I think it's worth another try.  The outcome of the 'Brexit' referendum revealed very distinctive differences across the UK and I think that many of us in this part of the world do not relate to the rather negative views which emerged from much of that referendum campaign.  Before you ask, I am not a 'Scottish Nationalist' but in the last referendum I clearly examined every argument in detail and formed my own opinion, going from a definite no to yes, for the reason that I felt that we could build a very different, progressive, compassionate and inclusive nation.   However I also respect and acknowledge the views of those who chose to remain in the UK; for there were many unresolved questions/issues which will no doubt raise their ugly head again in the referendum campaign and will still need answered.  My own view, however, has not changed; I will vote yes again, because I think it's time for self-determination.  I know many other people who voted 'no' in 2014 but who would definitely vote 'yes' this time round....but I know many, many others who are much more determined to vote 'no' so it's going to be a bumpy road ahead....

This past week...

...I lost 3lbs.

...I had a new cooker delivered and installed.

...the decluttering continued.

All in all, a pretty decent start to 2017, and we're halfway through January already.  The nights are getting lighter, slowly but surely, and I am enjoying some extra leave days from work this month as well.

Now all I need to do is finally publish those outstanding posts over at EuropeCrazy.  Over the next few days, I promise :)

...and I'm back in the room.

So the big switch took place remarkably smoothly and all my pre-switching worries were unfounded. I am now enjoying high-speed fibre broadband and TV on demand, although inevitably I would quickly build up a vast library of recordings in a short space of time.  The Rio Olympics are finishing this weekend but will live on for a few more days at EuropeCrazy HQ as I work through my backlog of through-the-night recordings!

In other news, this week has brought a little bit of clarity in what has been a very damaging few months. I am finally beginning to pull myself out of the slump and taking an interest in life again, although other personal circumstances are still very dark and sad, but I won't say any more about that out of respect to loved ones.

Regular readers of this blog will be well aware of my cycle of weight gain and emotional highs and lows so I won't go into all that again.  However, between now and the end of the year I will once again be embarking on a healthy eating/fitness regime to try and salvage something from 2016, an otherwise horrible year.

There will be no gym memberships or organised diets, no targets, no pressure, no major expectations. Just common sense and keeping a food diary.  It will also mean the return of the weekly Friday weigh-ins at work: my colleague and fitness guru advised me that these are going to continue until Christmas, so it's never too late to start again.

Update to follow on Friday 26.08.16 when hopefully there will be good news to report!

In with (some more of) the new

Since my last post on here, my home-improvement efforts have continued - that's when I've not been too exhausted to function.  So there was lots of painting and decorating and preparation for having new carpeting fitted in the hall and staircase last week.  Nevertheless I'm quite happy with how much I've managed to get done over the first three months of the year.  That was the plan - to do as much as I could in those dark winter months so that by the time our "summer" comes, I can put my feet up and take it easy.  When I'm not involved in the damage-limitation of so-called gardening of course :)

There is still so much to be done at home: but it's a challenge when you do all your own painting/decorating/DIY, especially if you work full-time in a mentally demanding job, you're not as young as you used to be, and your fitness levels are a long, long way from ideal.  So I'm taking a little break from the paintbrushes and returning to the keyboard over the next couple of weeks to clear that backlog of outstanding blog posts over at EuropeCrazy  before we head off on our spring holiday (destination known and to be revealed soon)

There is also the small matter of getting fit again.  There has been no dieting, no exercising, and I haven't been in the best place emotionally so there was comfort eating.  Lots of it.  Not a good thing. But it's only April, so I've got 6 months to get in shape before the big summer holiday (destination completely unknown at this time!)

Year of change (part 2)

Just as a follow-up to that last post: over the last two weeks, I made some very radical changes to the living room - every piece of furniture disappeared, either to charity shops or to be uplifted by the council.  Seven days ago, my new sofa and chair arrived - very comfortable they are too! - and a few days later they were joined by new sideboards and cabinets and a new fireside rug.  It has been a very hectic few weeks and the upheaval almost matched that of moving house :( and as for painting and decorating the staircase, well this was much more challenging than I'd imagined.

However it's only the beginning and there is so much more to do, but I'm taking a well-earned rest for the next week or two before picking up the paintbrushes once again.

As I said in the last post, it's a year of change.  And some of these changes have been very drastic and sudden, with some unexpected results.  Things have happened to other people and this has left me feeling a bit shocked and sad, and disappointed.  I have so many feelings running around my head about that whole situation, I can't really write about them here, but suffice to say that I'm trying to come to terms with some big changes in my daily life.  I guess you can't really change things which are outwith your control, but I just need to find some new strategies to deal with new situations, or at least to carry on with the calm attitude which got me through recent weeks.

One very positive change in my life has been the opportunity to rebuild some family relationships, and that seems to be going well.

But overall, at the moment, all I feel is exhaustion from that very busy start to the year, and right now I feel a bit sadder than I've been in a while.  But it will pass.

A year of change (and it's only January)

OK so January is almost over, but already it's had some drastic effects to say the least.   There have been dark moments (a couple of my friends have been unwell) and there are major changes afoot in my working environment in the coming weeks which will have a major impact.  2016 - I'm still having problems coming to terms with the fact that it's 2016! - has also brought some positive stuff too.  

For the first time in years I'm not solely focusing on "the dieting" as a new year begins - but I have kicked off the new year in a more productive way than I could have ever imagined, finally beginning to tackle those long overdue painting and decorating jobs - they have been a trial! - and revamping my home with the addition of new furniture over the next couple of weeks, followed by some new carpeting and the biggest decluttering exercise in years.  Yes, people, I have become something I never thought I'd become - a home-improvement bore :(

I'm spending my last night sitting on that very uncomfortable sofa which along with my two chairs (all being well) will be uplifted tomorrow, before the much more comfortable new sofa and chair are due to be delivered in a few days' time.  

December thoughts

Regular readers of this blog won't fail to have noticed my numerous attempts at trying to lose weight and get fit, whether via an official plan or doing my own thing.

Over recent weeks I've been doing a bit of stocktaking of my life: the things I want or need to change, and also recognising the things which hold me back, particularly through the dark and cold winter months.  I came to the conclusion that I don't need the additional stress of tracking everything I eat and weighing myself every week, especially when I'm in the midst of fluctuating emotions whilst dealing with the winter months - always a danger point for my mental health, and when you pile on the big post-bereavement milestone: Christmas, then something has to be done.

So I have decided to ditch "the dieting", not just for the moment, but for good.  For it is just one more stress I can do without.  Sometimes a little thing is the tipping point for a big decision.  In my case it was a workmate's birthday recently, when there was some delicious home-made cake on the go.  (One of my friends/colleagues is a fabulous baker and she also baked a cake when it was my birthday).  Suddenly I went into "dieting mode" and initially declined the cake.  But then something happened.  For at that moment I decided - why not?  My most successful non-official-dieting phases have resulted from a combination of moderation and exercise.  When I could have my cake and eat it.

The kind of low I'm experiencing now is different from this time last year: where last year was damaging and dangerous at least I had mum.  Now, all I feel is emptiness and a sense of going through the motions every day.  It's as if my feelings and emotions have been ripped out.  It's only when I'm with faithful travelling companion that I'm brought back to life.

Strangely enough, I seem to have morphed into the 'old me' at work, the person who used to be quite upbeat and chirpy. That's maybe just my way of repaying the kindness which everyone has shown me over the last 5 months, and maybe just my way of dealing with day-to-day life.

I had a day off work today and put up the Christmas tree.  Mum was very particular about how the lights were put on the tree, and how the baubles were arranged.  Well, there may have been a slight dip in quality control (and sorry mum, but there's probably a million things I can do better than putting lights on a tree) but hopefully she'll have approved.

We don't have a 'colour scheme' and some of the baubles even date back to the 70s and 80s (yes!) but it will always be "our" tree. Things won't really change this Christmas.  Like mum, I was never really into having a lot of decorations up, so apart from the tree there's only a few little ornaments around the fireplace, including mum's favourite little wind-up snow globe (below) which plays "White Christmas".

The next big task will be sorting out the Christmas card list, something which was always mum's "job" so I'm not really looking forward to it.  At least the cards and stamps are bought.  I've been pretty organised this year and concluded the Christmas shopping by the end of November.

In between all this festive planning, I am looking to the future.  Over recent weeks I started doing up the house, and this will continue in the coming months. Last week I went sofa shopping with successful results - so it will be out with the completely uncomfortable three-piece suite and in with a very comfy sofa and chair in the next 3 months or so.  New furniture and carpets will be purchased, and there is a lot of painting to be done.  So I'll need to keep myself fit for all this hard work ahead. Which brings me back to my original topic.  Without the pressure of counting, tracking and weighing, I might even enjoy the rest of the winter, with the freedom to eat more of what I want (in moderation of course), but upping the exercise as it will be "time to start paying - in sweat!!"

Adventures in wallpapering / Retail therapy

I decided to take a couple of days off work yesterday and today - it's a very nice feeling still to have lots of annual leave left to take by this time of the year.

Over the last couple of weeks I've been gathering painting and decorating supplies together, as I've decided to paint or redecorate almost every part of my house in the coming weeks and months.

First for a new look was my bathroom, which I've treated to a nice new, stylish and modern look with grey/silver tiling-on-a-roll.  After removing the old wallpaper (which turned out to be a bigger challenge than I expected) this revealed a rather damaged wall full of holes and lumps and bumps. I'm not one for blowing my own trumpet but it's nice to discover a new talent for plastering walls!

After all the preparatory work, yesterday was wallpapering day.  When I was growing up, I was very lucky to have two very determined female role models in my life - my gran and my mum - whose basic philosophy in life was self-taught self-sufficiency.  So basically as I got older I learned to sew and make my own clothes, to paint and even fit carpets - although my carpet fitting days are now over (it's too stressful!).

The one thing I was always scared of was wallpapering, something mum and gran did with ease. But when mum and I moved into our current home several years ago, I was thrown in at the deep end and quickly learned this new skill.  But I was never really happy with that old papering job in the bathroom.  And every time I raised the subject with mum, she'd always come back with "there's nothing wrong with it!"

But the fact remained that, apart from being my own biggest critic and constantly striving for better, the bathroom was in need of a new look. I was talking to someone the other week who said that "you'll want to make the house your own" which immediately triggered a Louis Walsh moment :)

Anyway after hours of work - complicated, as you will see, by trying to match the wallpaper's very complex and random tiling layout (pictured above) - the job was finally done.  So please excuse me if I stand back and have a little happy and proud moment, because I'm very happy with how it turned out.  I've said this before, but even though mum's not physically with me, she's definitely with me all the time, guiding me along.  The voice in my head.  Although she always hated grey....

After a hard day's work it was time for a nice dinner last night with faithful travelling companion at one of our fave local eateries :))

Today was all about the October Shopping Trip, something I usually do at this time of year - buying a new winter jacket and new boots, as well as dipping my toes into the bottomless pit that is Christmas shopping!  My heart really goes out to the poor retail staff in a certain very popular card shop who will have to endure the Christmas songs on a repeat loop for the next 9 weeks - for it has started already!

As I've previously mentioned on here, I've gained a horrific amount of weight over the past year and a half and due to one thing or another, it's been pretty impossible to shift.  So it was with some regret that I had to go up yet another size for my new winter jacket (pictured above).  As for the boots, I finally found a pair which happily stretched to accommodate a pair of muscular - not fat! - calves which were always a problem even when I was a couple of stones lighter.

So today was a very productive day!  Back to work tomorrow and then I'm planning the most relaxing weekend in a long time - really need to write some blog posts too :)

Taking stock

Beginning the third month of the first quarter of 2015, and only three weeks away from the start of British Summer Time - yes! - although that feels like a long way off, as it's just been bitterly cold for weeks, and thanks to that very chilly wind it feels even colder than it was at the beginning of the year.  I guess that's nothing though, compared to the outrageously cold winter weather which affects many countries at this time of year.  

My last post on here was pretty hopeful: I'm settled into my part-time working routine and making it count as I'm continuing to tackle the decluttering and neglected jobs at home, and even found myself in the garden yesterday!  

Unfortunately my fitness regime crashed after about a week: I pulled a muscle in my back/shoulder area after carrying some very heavy shopping and was in a lot of pain for a while.  And then a lot of other stuff in my life just spiralled out of control over the last fortnight, with the result that the fitness plan was replaced by binge/emotional eating yet again to cope with it all. I don't really want to write about all that stuff, suffice to say that the strain of the past couple of weeks has left me feeling upset and exhausted and I just want to get my life back on track again.

Anyway, some good news as faithful travelling companion and I are now planning our spring holiday (expect an announcement in the next couple of weeks) so this will be my target to get fit and shed a few pounds.  What I am most looking forward to is improving my walking fitness, and not feeling so tired/lethargic all the time.  I have a mountain of draft blog posts to finish/post but have been too tired lately, so I will get round to posting them eventually :)

In the meantime, there's an exercise bike calling my name....

Onwards and upwards - now we need a Copenhagen hotel!

4 weeks on, my mum is making slow and steady progress, particularly over the past few days - dare I say she has turned a corner?

Anyway it's looking good for myself and faithful travelling companion for our planned short break to Copenhagen in just over three weeks time.  In an ideal world I would have been there for ESC week but the rip-off hotel prices would have blown our holiday budget for the year (and beyond).  It was a difficult decision to make, but eventually we decided to hit the Danish capital a couple of weeks after ESC.

The flights were booked some time ago, but now we will need to book a hotel.  After some considerable research over the past couple of weeks, I'm none the wiser.  What's the best area to stay in, for a short break to Copenhagen?  All helpful suggestions welcome :))

Some small steps forward, some small steps back

Mum continues to amaze me with her recovery, considering how seriously ill she was two weeks ago.  For such a frail little thing, she is such a fighter.  Over the past week she has made incredible progress, however there was an unexpected setback this week which has required medical attention.  Anyway, the nurses are in every day for monitoring visits, and she continues to get the rest and relaxation which she needs.

Busy doing....everything

We never made it to Cyprus after all.  What began with my mum taking the common cold ended with her being admitted to hospital with pneumonia, unconscious and dangerously ill. 24 hours later, after being zapped with super-oxygen machines, she was sitting up in bed talking and joking, and I am so thankful that the hospital staff managed to save her.

Mum is still in hospital, and apart from my intensive visiting schedule, I'm reinventing myself as domestic goddess (ha!) and doing some painting, cleaning and decluttering around the house this week. 

I forgot how therapeutic (and messy!) painting can be.  You do feel some sense of reward at the end of it, seeing a room transformed into something fresh and new again.  I thought it would be a good idea to paint mum's room, to make it all fresh for her coming home, whenever that will be.  Last night, I painted for 3 hours and really enjoyed it.  Oh, and I would recommend 70s disco tunes for a painting soundtrack :)  I'm hoping to finish the room tonight after coming home from evening visiting. 

It seems no time since a couple of weeks ago when I was shortlisting my clothes for the holiday-that-never-was, when I discovered so many items of nearly new or unworn clothing in my wardrobes.  Some good stuff in there too, but it's taking up too much room and it has to go.  (Top tip: never buy clothes and say you'll slim into them later, it doesn't work).  I am an obsessive clothes-shopper and hardly a week goes by without me buying something new, so it's definitely time for another clearout and bag-filling for the local charity shops. 

And as for the cleaning, well I've invested in one of those steam mop thingies so hopefully once I get to work with that, the place will be gleaming!

Cleaning up at EuropeCrazy HQ

Today I became the proud owner of that must-have gadget which I've been saving up for - a cordless Dyson vacuum cleaner.  It's pretty fab too.  The down side is that you have to charge the battery unit for a while and only get 15 mins hoovering (or should that be Dysoning?) in return.  But on the plus side it just means that you have to move pretty fast to get all your cleaning done before the battery runs out.  But look on the bright side....it cuts the housework time down and leaves more time for fun stuff! 

à la rentrée

So, my annual mid-September holiday-fortnight is almost over.  Tomorrow it's back to work, back to reality, back to dieting, back to all the mundane day-to-day stuff.

It's been great fun - our few days in Nice was the absolute highlight of course (blog post and pics coming very soon over at EuropeCrazy), as well as a couple of rather good days in Edinburgh and Glasgow, when the weather actually stayed dry and bright for a change. 

Time at home was a bit more unsettled due to circumstances outwith our control - work going on inside and outside our home, so there were less opportunities to just laze around and relax.  I did get some though, so it wasn't all bad.  Even enjoying the simplest of pleasures like having a double espresso and a Danish pastry is a joy.

But as Debbie Allen might have said in 'Fame', "Danish pastries cost, and here's where you start paying - in sweat".  I have gained a ridiculous amount of weight over recent months, so I am about to begin yet another dieting journey where I will commit myself to losing 14 lbs over a realistic period of 7 months.  All this whilst still enjoying all the good (bad) things in life.  But it can be done!  It worked for me two years ago and it will work again!!

Summertime!!

Here in my part of the world, we usually only have two seasons: the cold rainy one and the slightly less cold but still rainy one.

So it is a very pleasant surprise to be sitting here at the end of March enjoying completely unseasonable summer-type weather. For the past 4 days the temperatures have risen, we can finally switch the heating off, and the sunshine is giving our spirits a much-needed lift.

I guess we will have to make the most of it, as come June/July it will be the usual "summer" weather.

Yesterday I spent four hours out in the garden, cutting grass and doing some intensive weeding work which I'm seriously paying for today, as I can hardly walk :(

Goodbye CRT, hello LED

It was the end of an era this week at EuropeCrazy HQ, as we finally took the great leap forward into the digital TV revolution. Our trusty old 28" flat screen CRT TV...

which was once state of the art back in the day, made way for a 37" LED TV...

It wasn't a spur of the moment decision but it's been researched for ages, and whilst I'm in 'life's too short' mode, now is as good a time as any to take that step.

It's not just a flat screen TV, it's one of these "smart tvs" which you can get BBC iPlayer and YouTube on. And it's got Freeview HD as well.

It is extremely fab and I hope we get as many happy viewing years out of our new TV as our old one gave us. I'll just need to tear myself away from it to write a few blog posts now and then :)

Goodbye work, hello relaxation (well for a couple of weeks anyway...!)

So although I'm not a royalist by any means, I thought it was most considerate of Wills 'n' Kate to tack their wedding on to a public holiday weekend = et voilà, the four day weekend (for all those of us lucky enough to get that...and apologies to everyone having to work it).


In something totally unrelated, I'm still loving Yankee Candles and treated myself to some new ones this week, although tonight I'm burning an old familiar aroma: baby powder.

(picture above courtesy of www.yankeecandle.co.uk)

Tomorrow: pre-holiday stuff all day and all the control-freak-military-precision that involves, combined with a curious eye on that big event.

Long weekends and holidays

2011 has been pretty rubbish so far, in many many ways, yet I'm feeling some optimism now. Easter always seems to signal a positive turning point, and although it's been a long time coming, it is almost here at last. So there's a nice long weekend to look forward to, followed by a three day working week, followed by another nice long weekend which nicely rolls into a week off. This usually involves a short break in a European city: I guarantee that there will be an announcement this weekend!!

It's been a very stressful time of late as I've been involved in updating my training course at work, which has been very rewarding but which along with other life/work stuff has mentally and physically taken its toll :( I was involved in delivering the first of the new updated courses yesterday and today, which went well, however I'm going through yet another bout of fatigue where I'm tired all the time, even after a good night's sleep. Therefore I'm welcoming this holiday period as an opportunity to unwind. There are so many outstanding household tasks demanding my attention at the moment but I'll have to prioritise them - after all, you know what they say...'all work and no play' etc.

So there will be time for fun, and retail therapy, and pre-holiday planning, and getting out and enjoying this rare spell of dry warm weather too. And maybe even a little bit of blogging over the weekend :))

Let's hear it for big plastic boxes!

On the plus side, a major phase of my ongoing decluttering exercise at EuropeCrazy HQ was completed today, as I finally finished clearing out my big bedroom cupboard. Result: lots of shoes and bags off to the charity shops, lots of old hoarded paperwork destroyed or scanned in my "paperless office", lots of shoe boxes gone to the recycling bin, and the remaining shoes, boots, trainers and bags all stored in four of Poundstretcher's finest big plastic 40 litre storage boxes (2 for £8.00, what a bargain!) plus I've now been able to move the boxes of old videos which were skyscraping from the top of my wardrobes, into the freed-up space in the cupboard.

Result!

January: work in progress

This month I've been decluttering my house, and have finally got started on that big scary cluttered bedroom cupboard. I would probably be a prime candidate for one of those home-show TV channels where they go into someone's house and try to psycho-analyse the reasons why they're holding on to so much, why they can't let go of the past etc etc.

Stuff all that, I'm just a hoarder, always have been. But I'm trying to do something about it, honest :)