The summer of aches and pains

After two quite frankly terrible summers in 2015 and 2016 I had hoped that this one might just be a bit better.  Don't get me wrong, there have been highlights: two holidays in near quick succession in May (cruise) and June (Italy) definitely lifted our spirits. 

However, since the beginning of May I have had a throat infection and leftovers which just wouldn't go away; then more recently there was an accident which I don't want to go into detail about but suffice to say there have been some nasty injuries which it will take some time to recover from.  Then in two other unrelated incidents I have sustained back and shoulder injuries, the latter being a repeat of the one I had just over a year ago which forced me to quit the gym.  

As I am unable to exercise, my physical health has gone into yet another downward spiral. Feeling exhausted and just living for sleep right now.  Although even that's a struggle as I am still in so much pain.

I had managed to lose a bit of weight after the cruise but due to everything that's happened since, and of course going on another holiday and enjoying all that lovely food, meant that it's all piled back on. Oh well, never mind.  The main priority right now is overcoming all these aches and pains and once that happens, I can focus on getting fit again and losing a bit of weight.  Dieting is still off the agenda!  

In spite of how I've been feeling lately, my mood is pretty good, although the past week has been rather stressful.  My thinking has shifted from anxiety about what I can't do (e.g. my house once had a back garden, now it is a jungle), to just taking care of myself and exercising the maximum self-compassion.  Which is all you need,  Particularly on a day like today, as I'll explain in the next post. 

Thoughts on self-destruction

I always view October as my 'new year'.  During my September holiday fortnight I always do a lot of mental/emotional stocktaking and look ahead to the forthcoming winter months.  Which usually includes attempting to start a diet and weekly weigh-ins after my birthday at the end of September.

Only this year, I'm not doing it any more.  Over the last couple of emotionally difficult years, I developed what you might call a 'disordered' relationship with food.  I gained a very large amount of weight through binge-eating, my way of dealing with depression, family illness and deeply painful losses, but there was still that part of me which hoped I could turn things round and get my weight down again.  For every pound or two lost, there would be some emotional trauma or another - even a bad day would be sufficient to plunge me back into binge-snacking, leading to even more weight gain and self-loathing, and spiralling into more depression.

And during all this I would be stepping on the scales, either at home or as part of a weight-loss thing going on at work, and I'd just feel like a failure.  One other negative aspect of gaining all that weight was the shocking decline in my fitness.  I struggled to walk anywhere and had no energy.  It was all self-inflicted, but I was in such a bad place that there was nothing I could do at that time.  Over the past year I often wondered if I'd really grieved properly for mum.  But looking back now, with a lot more clarity than I've had in a long time, I now realise that the grief was there but just manifesting itself in a different, self-destructive way.

That fortnight off in September finally allowed me some time and space to take stock of my life. Personal events of the past few months have shown just how precious life is and how it can be cruelly taken away from you when you least expect it.  I treasure being alive, and I've had enough of the self-destruction which has marked the past 2 years of my life.

Last weekend I bought a 'Fitbit' fitness tracker (pictured above).  This coincided with joining a 'step challenge' at work which has encouraged me to get moving again, more frequently.  For the first time in months I was back on the mini-stepper and the exercise bike, slowly building up my fitness and stamina.  The extra exercise combined with some reasonably sensible eating - and no bingeing - was a major turning point.  

The best thing about it all was that I didn't go near the scales.  The feeling and satisfaction of getting my fitness back is something that just can't be measured on a scale.  And the fitter I become, this will enable me to work towards losing that weight.  I learned a lot on Slimming World and have some favourite go-to meals which I will continue to enjoy.  But I also need to re-establish a healthy relationship with food, without the stress and worry about what the scales will say this week.   Because there will be no more weigh-ins - until such time when I feel that it will be a positive experience for me again.  I'm going to be in control from now on - the scales won't control me any more.

And how do I feel right now?  In a word.....liberated.

An ill week, a happy day, and finally cracking Christmas

If this blog is turning into a rather gloom-laden place then please accept my apologies; rest assured that I want to take it in a more upward direction in the weeks and months to come.

But the past seven days have been an extremely miserable place as last Thursday I fell victim to yet another horrible viral infection, a very similar one to that which I had in June, which had its usual 'leftovers' which left me struggling to get through the week, battling a constant cough as well as the usual sinus hell which these things always leave me with.  As if that wasn't bad enough, my eyes decided to come out in sympathy on Monday. So we can add conjunctivitis to an already growing ailment list.  On a totally shallow note, the worst thing about the eye infection was that I had to go eye make-up free to work for two whole days.  The horror of it! :))  My boss, who I can also luckily call my great friend, had a good chuckle at my predicament, but then she can get away with anything!!

Today I woke up and the red-eye was gone.  Normal Laura was resumed, my trademark eyeliner and mascara back on, and if I can just shake off this horrible post-viral cough all will be well once more. The down-side of the past week has been a loss of appetite and struggling to eat, which is definitely not like me!

For various other reasons, today was a very good day.  I won't go into all of it, as it involves other people whose privacy will remain private, but their happy news made me very happy too.  I also had a brilliant trip to the theatre today, review to turn up eventually (definitely before Christmas) over at EuropeCrazy.

I'm beginning to feel like I'm finally cracking Christmas.  The whole Christmas card writing, and accompanying letters which I always send at this time of year, has turned out to be more therapeutic than I first thought.  I am triggering/grasping opportunities to re-establish broken family links because life is too short and I'm quite frankly fed up of meeting people only at funerals rather than on happier/normal occasions.  I don't know where it's all going but at least I can say that I tried :)

Dark days

Out of the blue, and unexpectedly, my mum was admitted to hospital again yesterday. There's a number of different things wrong with her, but all I will say is that she is very ill at the moment.  In that situation, every little glimmer of hope is grabbed with both hands; whether it's tiny improvements in a blood test, or little moves of the arm and leg, or the tiniest little bit of mumbling....every one is an achievement.

During my visit to hospital earlier today, she suddenly became conscious, opened her eyes and said hello to me, and that was probably one of the happiest moments of my life.  She is very weak and frail, but she is also one hell of a fighter, as previous illnesses have proved.

She has received terrific care from everyone in the hospital since she arrived, which gives me great hope for her recovery.  I am going back to visit her tonight and can't wait to see her again.  This house is such an empty (and quieter) place without her around :(

EDIT: I visited tonight, and there was no change....if anything, there was more cause for concern than this afternoon, but at least she did become more conscious towards the end of our visit and there were even a couple of funny moments.  But my heart feels so heavy right now as she is not getting any better....

My 1000 Hours and the inspiration of Niall Breslin

If you've been a regular (or even occasional) reader of my main blog EuropeCrazy, you may remember that over recent years I have been a big fan of the Irish singer/songwriter Niall Breslin, better known as Bressie.  At the height of his fame he decided to quit his music career and focus on other projects.  As time went on we learned that Bressie had experienced anxiety and depression throughout his life.  There is so much misunderstanding and stigma around depression and mental health issues - and this is very close to home as it's something which I continue to struggle with on a daily basis - and I think it's truly inspiring that Bressie has used his fame to speak out and raise awareness.

Bressie's latest venture is a new website called My 1000 Hours http://www.my1000hours.com
The website focuses on holistic fitness and will be one of my go-to websites in the months to come, check it out for lots of helpful tips on dealing with emotional and physical fitness.

Pulling myself back from the brink

I've been in a pretty dark place for much of the year:  balancing the unrelenting stress of day to day life and a full-time job, with being a full-time carer for my mum, who is not the same person she was before she got ill earlier this year, and the impact this had on my physical and mental health.  I never thought that at the beginning of the year that I would end 2014 at two stones heavier than I was at the start of it.  But we all have different ways to deal with stress and bad times, and binge eating was mine.  Even though I've been overweight for a number of years, I always maintained a high level of fitness but even that went this year, to a point where the pains in my legs became so debilitating that I couldn't even walk for long periods. 

Just weeks after my return from holiday, I spiralled into a deep depression, struggling with daily panic attacks, and I completely shut down.  That seemed to be the tipping point for intervention, acknowledgement and clarity.  I won't go into detail just now as there's some pending stuff which will help me to deal with it all; I don't know how it's going to go, but, well, it's worth a try.  I've also read a number of articles on the internet about being a carer, and these are helping me so much.

There is one other major thing in the pipeline (what I have called the "life-changing thing" on my Twitter feed).  It is now out of my hands, and I don't want to count my chickens, but if it happens, then life is about to get a million per cent better (ok I know there's no such thing as a million per cent, but hey...).  And if it doesn't happen, then I'll just have to deal with it.  But for the moment I'm hanging on to hope, with fingers and everything else crossed.

Before this post descends into a one-way ticket to self-pity city, there are reasons to be cheerful.  Although certain elements of the Christmas season relentlessly annoy me, regardless of how I'm feeling, I'm still looking forward to being around my loved ones and sharing happy experiences.  Two weeks from tonight, I'll finish up for a week's Christmas leave and I can't wait!  When almost every minute of your day and night is accounted for, particularly at this time of year, it's difficult to make time to make positive changes, losing weight, getting fit etc - I don't make new year resolutions, but those are definitely on the to-do list for 2015.  I also have new challenges and ambitions for the year ahead, so we'll see how far I get!

I suppose the thing I'm saddest about is that I haven't really had much time or energy to blog this year, but I can only hope that next year will be better in the blogging department.  And we are now in Eurovision season: if that's not a mood-enhancer, then I don't know what is...!

Back to the blogs

In addition to my much-increased caring commitments, it's been a mixture of laziness and bloggers' block which has kept me away from blogland over recent weeks. However, a few nice things happened recently, which have helped me turn the corner and get back into a happier place.

• The holiday: Trogir in Croatia was brilliant, and brought me the peace and calm which I'd been searching for, for so long.
• My birthday: I had a fabulous time thanks to the generosity of my loved ones, friends and colleagues.  It just reminded me how lucky I am to have them in my life.
• I quit dieting: I never realised just how much pressure I was putting on myself to lose weight, and totally beat myself up about it when it never happened.  Since that time I have stayed the same and neither gained nor lost, but the main thing is that the pressure is gone.  So I have had to buy some larger clothes, but it's not the end of the world. 
• I got mindful: yes it's a 'thing' at the moment, but I'm trying to practice mindfulness, living in the moment.  It may sound a lot of new-age-gubbins to some, but it seems to be working for me and for some other people I know.  Unfortunately there is no solution in mindfulness for time-managing your backlog of telly programmes/box sets so I'll need to work on that one :)

Quitters never win, blah blah blah.

I've been fighting a weight-loss war for years.  Over my 7 years of blogging I've tried organised diets and doing my own thing.  I've seen highs and lows.  In 2011 I managed to get down to a size 14 and dropped to my lowest weight in nearly 20 years.  Since that time it's all gone horribly wrong, and I've been unable to sustain any kind of weight/inch loss.  The past year has brought the menopause, stress, anxiety, physical and mental health problems, increased caring responsibilities, increased work demands, and life has just overwhelmed me.  I've always been an "emotional eater" and used food as a response to stressful situations. 

In the past 6 months I have gained - wait for it - a stone and a half.  Even through periods of sticking to an organised diet, and eating healthily, there has been inexplicable and rampant weight gain.  Which, my menopausal friends tell me, is probably hormonal and stress-related.  Which has, in turn, completely messed with my mind.  Apart from the weight gain, the past six months have been mainly a time of complete doom and gloom, when at times things got so dark that it scared me.  For most of June, July and into August I literally couldn't function and most days I just wished that I didn't have to get out of bed, that I could just escape into sleep rather than face the world outside.

I have been taking Kalms for the past three weeks and the difference has been astounding.  My panic/anxiety attacks have been almost non-existent; I'm sleeping better, and the dark fog which has engulfed me in my daily life is now beginning to lift.  Living with depression is like a sentence hanging over you, you know that it's always going to come back sometime, but those times when you manage to chase it away is like the best feeling in the world.  I now have the clarity to make plans and major decisions about my life (more news to follow, hopefully soon) and in the immediate future I've decided to quit dieting and go back in time to when I didn't have such an oppressive, guilt-ridden relationship with food, when I didn't have so many hang-ups about points/calories, and just focus on the only thing which really works: exercise and sensible eating.  No more weekly weigh-ins, no more slavery to the scales! 

They say quitters never win, but quitting dieting is a good thing for me right now.  I've decided to draw a line under the last six months, and choose to enter the post-holiday/pre-Christmas period - always a difficult one for me - with a new, healthier attitude to life.

In the meantime though, there's the small matter of that forthcoming holiday.  Over the coming week I've scheduled a rigorous exercise regime which (a) will help me to cope with what is potentially one of the most stressful working weeks in a long time, and (b) will boost my fitness for the Croatian adventure. 

Here, but not really here, but....oh, here anyway.

My annual August internet detox has failed miserably, so I'm going to try it again in October when I'm full of post-holiday good intentions.  Hmph.  Anyway it's soon September and I'll try and fit in as much blogging stuff as time allows.

I'm still battling anxiety and depression.  There, I said it, and I'm trying to do something about it. Whilst I am completely honest, open and upfront about what's wrong with me - something which I have struggled with for almost 15 years - why do others have such a problem with it?  Let's just sweep it under the carpet.  After all, when you have the ongoing Groundhog Day bore-a-thon of the Ice Bucket Challenge and the daily Facebook obsessions, then why bother with someone who does not share your interests and quite frankly, just doesn't give a flying f**k??  Try independence of thought sometime.  You might like it.

No offence to those who have actually done the Ice Bucket Challenge, and all the money it has raised for charity.  Some of the video clips are admittedly funny, but it's just not for me.  The most annoying thing about this well-meaning but egotistical exercise is the peer-pressure placed on those with a mind of their own, who choose not to join Facebook and/or participate in this daily nightmare without end.

"Who hasn't done it yet??"  It's like a revival of school bullying, reinvented for adult life.  If you don't do it, there must be something wrong with you.  Don't you like a laugh?  Well yes, I do as it happens, but as the saying goes, are we not at "peak bucket" yet?  And in a summer where I completely unravelled and found myself in a very dark place, getting someone to throw a bucket of water over me is the least of my worries.  Get a life, people.

It is just over two weeks until I go on holiday: now there is something which fills me with excitement.

The countdown

After some rather gloomy previous posts, I thought I'd move on to a bit more positivity now.  I have this little whiteboard on my bedroom wall where I'm now doing a little daily countdown to my holiday, and writing my daily fitness goals and ticking them off.

I've been doing quite well over the past couple of weeks.  I'm still sticking to Weight Watchers, but my weight loss is very slow.  The most important thing for me is to lose a few inches, which is more important than what the scales say.  So I have returned to the aerobics routines which I remember from the twice-weekly aerobics classes which I went to at the beginning of the 90s.  OK so I may be older and heavier, but I still have the moves :)

Slight but positive changes are beginning to happen.  Of course with only a few weeks to go until my holiday, there isn't too much time left to achieve any drastic weight/inch loss - and I don't like that anyway, because in the world of dieting, slow and steady wins the race - but there is enough time to make a difference.  Onwards!

An open letter to my unwanted, unwelcome guest

NB: To male readers of this blog, you will want to ignore this post. To younger female readers, meet the Ghost of Hormonal Future.  To older female readers, some (or all) of this might just be familiar....

You hovered around for a couple of years and caused some minor havoc, before you moved into my life almost a year ago.  With your arrival, you immediately banished that other unpleasant and painful monthly visitor.  Which admittedly provided some cause for celebration, although this was brief, as you then proceeded to wreck my life in many ways with almost debilitating consequences.

Where there was once a reasonable body temperature, you brought excessive heat and sweating which recently intensified to a stage where it made almost every minute of every day unbearable.  'Hot flushes' does not begin to explain this almost permanent, unpleasant state.  Even for this social-phobic, you have made it virtually impossible for me to be in any social situation.  Purple is my favourite colour, but a purple face with water pouring out of it is so not a good look.

Where there was once sleep, there has not been a night since your arrival that I have been able to have a full night's sleep, hell no, not when I can wake up at least 5 or 6 times a night.

To a once happy, calm and pleasant person, you have brought depression, anxiety, mood swings, panic attacks, palpitations, irritability, negativity.  To a once overweight but reasonably fit and healthy person, you tipped me over the borderline into obesity - what a horrible word, but that's what my BMI is telling me - and you made it so much more difficult to lose this extra weight which was gained so quickly.  It is hard to believe now that just 3 years ago I was size 14, my perfect weight and size.  That feels like another time and place now.

It's strange now to think that I once looked forward to your arrival: that this would signal the end of one chapter and the beginning of a whole new one.  "The change of life", they called it.  Well, it was certainly a change, but not for the better.  I can't go anywhere without wondering if the temperature will be too hot.  Even the beautiful summer temperatures of recent weeks became a strain.  And in the winter, my favourite seasonal garments - scarves and jumpers - are now off limits as I can't stand the heat.  Every thing I do, every place I go, every decision I make seems to be influenced by you, piling on the misery when I am trying to make the best of life.

Now I hear you telling me that what you have brought me is not an illness, but a natural progression, the end of a hormonal cycle.  The one thing we can be sure of is that every woman will go through this.  Fine, then, but I have also read that you could be around for up to 10 years, maybe more?  How can anyone possibly stand this level of discomfort, day after day? But I'm not going to be beaten. I am a great believer in natural/herbal remedies, and am working my way through all possible options to deal with your impact, and every day I'm trying to find a new way not to let you grind me down.  I'm currently fighting you with a fitness regime which hopefully will not only get those extra pounds off, but will also give me the mental and physical strength to cope with the daily challenges you throw at me.  It will get better.

Onwards and upwards - now we need a Copenhagen hotel!

4 weeks on, my mum is making slow and steady progress, particularly over the past few days - dare I say she has turned a corner?

Anyway it's looking good for myself and faithful travelling companion for our planned short break to Copenhagen in just over three weeks time.  In an ideal world I would have been there for ESC week but the rip-off hotel prices would have blown our holiday budget for the year (and beyond).  It was a difficult decision to make, but eventually we decided to hit the Danish capital a couple of weeks after ESC.

The flights were booked some time ago, but now we will need to book a hotel.  After some considerable research over the past couple of weeks, I'm none the wiser.  What's the best area to stay in, for a short break to Copenhagen?  All helpful suggestions welcome :))

Some small steps forward, some small steps back

Mum continues to amaze me with her recovery, considering how seriously ill she was two weeks ago.  For such a frail little thing, she is such a fighter.  Over the past week she has made incredible progress, however there was an unexpected setback this week which has required medical attention.  Anyway, the nurses are in every day for monitoring visits, and she continues to get the rest and relaxation which she needs.

8 days later

After 8 days in hospital, mum is home, and I am happy.

However, it is the end of one chapter and the beginning of another: the recovery.  Which is going to take a bit of time, due to her lack of mobility and general state of health.  But on the plus side, out go the hospital visiting marathons :) Now she is home, and no-one's clock-watching and she can recover at her own pace, in her own time.

As for me, being my mum's carer is a pleasure and a privilege, so it's all good :))

It's getting better :)

It's been a little while since I posted on here, so let's recap.

I never lost all the weight I wanted to lose - but I lost 7lbs.
I got an exercise bike and went from crippling pain to power-walking fitness again.
Work's still tough, but it's getting easier.
Weeks of insomnia completely stopped me functioning, but I'm finally sleeping again.
I caught another very nasty cold, but I'm now trying to shake off the leftovers.
I'm still a long way from where I want to be,  but I'm getting there.

Best of all: I'm going on holiday in a few days, and that's the best feeling in the world.  Now I need to get on with the packing and preparation for our first ever trip to Cyprus :)

Of course you can expect all the usual gratuitous food photography and travel tales when I eventually publish those holiday diaries...!

A grumpy old insomniac with an exercise bike

After the physical and mental stresses and strains of recent weeks, I finally decided last weekend that enough was enough.  I bought an exercise bike.

I've only been using it for 6 days but can tell you that it has made such a difference to my physical fitness already, and I'm able to walk again at a speed beyond crawling, after months of inactivity, weight gain and comfort eating saw my legs just virtually give up, in sympathy with the recurring left foot problem.  Although even that is beginning to subside and I'm no longer in constant pain. 

Unfortunately, I'm struggling to pull myself out of a pretty dark place just now.  Insomnia night after night can leave you struggling to function - that's just one of many things getting me down.

God this is getting to be such a depressing blog.  I want happy Laura back!

My winter shutdown

I started 2014, not with New Year resolutions doomed to fail, but with realistic, clear-headed goals. One thing was for sure: I didn't want a repeat of 2013, which despite its high points (mostly holiday-related) will be remembered for unprecedented levels of stress and anxiety which led to comfort eating, weight gain and ill health.

So, with January almost over, I'm taking stock.  6 lbs lighter than I was at the start of 2014, feeling considerably fitter, the foot injury's gone from crippling to manageable.  I've had a new mattress for exactly two weeks which has improved my sleep immensely, and the other health problem I've had since September is finally being kept in check.  There has been a lot of decluttering at EuropeCrazy HQ, so I'm not going to end up on one of those 'world's biggest hoarder' documentaries after all, and the local charity shops have been the beneficiaries of some rather fab brand-new-but-doesn't-fit-me-anymore clothing.  So, it's all good.

However, it would appear that in my day-to-day life that I seem to have reached a level of social detachment of Saga Noren-type proportions, which has raised some concern that I might be depressed again, when in fact I'm not. I may have 'shut down' for the winter but I'm just in the zone.  I'm focused.  Just trying to get stuff done.  You know how they always say on a flight that you should fit your own oxygen mask first?  Well, that's what I'm doing....getting my own life in order so that I can deal with all the challenges ahead, including forthcoming changes in my working environment.  The next few weeks will be very trying, but there are also good personal things happening which might just balance the trepidation which change brings.

So, all in all, I'm getting organised.  Blogging, as ever, has been a casualty of 'other stuff' but I'll try and fit a few posts in here and there when I can :))

Hello 2014!

Since my last (rather gloomy) post on here, some things have changed.

I have a new moose, which I bought at the Edinburgh Christmas market last month.  That was a pretty fab day, despite the torrential rain which has been pretty much a daily occurrence over the last few weeks.

The Christmas and New Year break was pretty fabulous, thanks to the most simple pleasures in life - lots of rest and relaxation and quality time spent with my two favourite people, lots of lovely gifts, a Christmas dinner triumph and ....happiness.

We have now arrived in 2014 and it finds me in a much more calm, upbeat mood.  Things haven't really changed that much, but I've entered the new year with a more upbeat attitude and a determination that it's not going to get me down.

After the stress and weight gain of recent months, I decided to rejoin WeightWatchers Online between Christmas and New Year, and have very positive news to report.  I have lost 5lbs in the past two weeks, and am pretty delighted about it.  A combination of hard work, determination and being very focused on mini-goals rather than less achievable targets.  Unfortunately I'm still struggling with the (inexplicable) foot injury/cramp, which has slowed me down to power-limping rather than power-walking :(

Nevertheless, onwards and upwards!  Better times ahead, and hopefully some holiday news soon!

Welcome to October / BMI, baby!

It's been a long week.  Although it was my birthday last Monday, it was overshadowed by the triple threat of:

• returning to work after 2 weeks off
• The-Virus-Which-Refuses-To-Die despite antibiotics and every lozenge and decongestant imaginable;
• the impending doom of jury service.

So as you can imagine, I've had better birthdays, although the lovely presents and cards certainly softened the blow of another year on the slippery slope towards The-Next-Big-Landmark-Birthday....

Work wasn't that bad after all. I'm trying to adopt a more positive attitude to avoid the stress and anxiety of the past few months repeating itself.  

The virus still refuses to die, although the cough is no longer coming at millisecond intervals.  Could do without my voice breaking up in mid-phone-call at work though; I start speaking as myself and end the sentence as Barry White.  

Oh and the jury service....along with a couple of hundred other people, I attended court but wasn't selected. It turned out to be a very unsettling week for this couple of hundred people, as we had to phone court daily - twice daily some days - to find out if we were required.  Happily it was all resolved by Friday and we can all get on with our lives as normal for another couple of years or so before the dreaded citation envelope drops through the letterbox once again. 

I ended the week with a sense of triumph and a delicious birthday dinner with faithful travelling companion at our favourite local Indian restaurant.  

Talk of food brings me onto one of this blog's regular topics....I've tried lots of different ways to lose weight, but one thing is clear.  It has to go. 

My health's not as great as it used to be, and the doctor told me my blood pressure is "slightly high" which after the stress of the last few months, doesn't surprise me in the least.  I've been reading a lot about BMI - no, not the now-defunct airline, although I wouldn't mind another holiday! - body mass index, which defines whether you are 'normal', 'overweight' or 'obese'.  http://www.nhs.uk/tools/pages/healthyweightcalculator.aspx?WT.mc_id=101007 

Obese starts at 30, and my current BMI is 29.  So major alarm bells are ringing all over the place.  I've decided not to go for any quick fixes, but focus my next weight loss and fitness plan over the next 12 months, between now and my next birthday.  To get my BMI down from 29 (overweight/borderline obese) to 25 (overweight/borderline normal) will actually involve losing 24lbs which is a big ask.  But over 12 months that just works out at losing 2lbs per month, which sounds so much easier and 'do-able'.  Here goes....

(COUGH! COUGH! COUGH!).

Holidays excepted, the last 11 days have been pretty horrendous thanks to what started as a cold and turned into a horrible throat infection, leaving me with one of the worst, prolonged, forceful, painful coughs and sinus infections ever.  Every decongestant, pastille, lozenge and the always-reliable Olbas Oil (pictured above) was tried but only turned out to provide short-term relief.  Finally, I admit defeat.  I give up.  The doctor's appointment is made - bring on the antibiotics and whatever else they want to prescribe!

Hopefully whatever I'm prescribed tomorrow will help to salvage the last days of my fortnight off...