Wanted: daylight

So anyway, the depression has been eating away at me again, I've been in a bit of denial and haven't really acknowledged it until the past week.  I shouldn't feel this low during the summer months, but the fact remains that it is happening, and it all came to a head over the last couple of weeks.  I have my own theory on what's really behind it.  So I had put it out there, that I'm suffering from a summer variant of SAD, and I know the reason for it.  All things being well, this may be resolved by the end of this month.  Or not.  Here's hoping anyway...

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately (that's what the noise is) and after the stresses of recent months, I'm trying to find a way back to the old happy me, rather than the current unrecognisable unhappy variation.  They say that the more things change, the more they stay the same.  7 years ago, when I started blogging, I was in a bit of a dark place.  I know that it is a bit of a cliché, but blogging really rescued me and changed my life. 

Over the past couple of years I've had other priorities, other things eating into my time, and just not enough hours in the day, which has completely irritated me, and the blogs have suffered as a result.  I want to get back to that good place.  I want to start blogging again, to recapture the buzz which I once felt.  Times have changed: mainstream music is mainly crap, and I can't really connect with it any more.  But there are so many things which I still want to write about, and it's about time I got back there. 

....but you can never leave.

If someone asked me to describe this wonderful, life-changing experience which is blogging, I'd borrow from those great philosophers The Eagles and say it's a bit like the Hotel California - you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

2011 has been particularly horrible for a lot of reasons, some very close to home, others in a wider world context. Meanwhile in blogland, there were several moments over the past year when I seriously considered quitting blogging, one of the reasons being that I felt I wasn't delivering on the promises and (what turned out to be unreasonable) targets which I'd mentally set myself. And that's not what blogging should be about. It should be spontaneous, and fun, and all the things which resulted in me keeping three blogs going, as I still do.

The other problem was that it was impossible to keep EuropeCrazy topical and up to date, due to time constraints. A lot of blogging is about 'the now' and topicality is everything. Writing an album review a year after its release wouldn't exactly go down too well in music blogland, for example. So I had all these little unwritten posts in my head, but when the time came around to publish them, I just felt they weren't relevant anymore.

If you think all this is leading up to an "I've decided to quit blogging" announcement, well....it's not. Let's go back to The Eagles, because I'm going to check out for a while but have no intention of leaving. Because I love blogging, and I want to keep on doing it. I want to celebrate the 5th birthday of my first-born blog EuropeCrazy in March 2012. I want to take Planet Salem (which is 4 years old tomorrow) into its fifth year. And as long as there's food to eat and clothes to buy, there's a lot of life left in good ol' Random Ramblings too.

The big difference is that I'll be blogging a lot less than I used to, and won't be promising anything which I can't deliver. After the 2011-50 ends over at EuropeCrazy, I'm going to step away from the computer for a little while, however will still write the odd blog post. And that time will hopefully come when I've caught up with myself, when all the jobs are done, and I'll be ready to throw myself back into blogland with a vengeance.

The countdown is on

One more working day left and then it will be time for my annual two weeks off, which will put a much-needed smile on my face. Unlike previous years there will be no traditional 'summer holiday' but I'm determined that the approaching 'staycation' (to use that very 21st century term) will provide some necessary rest and relaxation and may yet bring some surprises. And, no doubt, a trip to Matalan.

I'd like to say that there would be some kind of blogging bonanza, but right now I'm struggling to recover the blogging mojo. I'll try and do a post or two though...

The ups and downs of the numbers game

This week, it's been all about the numbers, and the ups and downs.

Quite appropriate in a way...a big chunk of my daily nine-to-five involves producing stats in various shapes and forms, and strangely enough I remain just a little fascinated by stats, even when the working day is over.

So....

This has been a record-breaking and totally amazing week over at EuropeCrazy, mainly thanks to a certain annual song contest :) so thank you all for visiting my blog during that time - and if you like what you saw, don't forget to call back regularly as you will be very welcome!

Now the bad news :(

I gained another pound this week, which is probably more of my holiday weight...oh well I need to work hard, no in fact I need to work much, much harder to lose all the weight I've gained over the last 4 weeks. After all, it's only 4 months till our next holiday. Destination unknown (at the moment).

Onwards into April...

So a new month starts tomorrow, and it's going to be a mentally draining one work-wise, and a physically draining one at home so it's time to clear the decks again and I'm going to take another month off blogging. Meanwhile the diet continues...to be honest it hasn't been so successful over the last few weeks, but I'm trying very hard and trying to eat more fruit and make lots of home-made soup (specialities: carrot and lentil / parsnip and red pepper) and resurrecting my old tomato and chargrilled vegetable pasta sauce recipe, throw in some pasta twists and voila! Here it is. Another attempt to get into Blogs of Note.



There will be a diet update at the end of April. There is still some motivation as I'd usually be due to be going on holiday at the beginning of May, however due to personal circumstances at the moment this could change and could be delayed or maybe not. Anyway when there is a holiday announcement...it'll be announced!!

In search of the blogging mojo and time management skills

I'm a little lost on both fronts at the moment....had hoped that my little blogging-break in January would bring all the hunger and inspiration back. OK, they came back, but I'm still struggling with a lack of time, as I continue to catch-up with various other things which were put on hold over that last, manic, crazy, wonderful 12 months. And despite having lots to blog about, for some reason, everything seems to go a blank when I sit down at the computer....

Been a bit run-down/stressed of late and that's not helping matters. Then there was the two weeks when I was literally brought to a standstill by that crippling lower back nerve pain. Then (cue ad voice-over!) I discovered Voltarol Emulgel, which if you'll pardon the pun, has brought me "back" again to fitness levels approaching some kind of normality at last. Today I walked to and from work without any pain, and not even one crippling twinge. It's (hopefully) getting better at last....!

Bidding January a fond farewell.

So I guess that's it then, my month-long blog break is officially over and it's back to blogging again. Of course I did manage to sneak in a few posts on the three blogs, but these couldn't wait! I'm going to try this experiment where I'll have two months blogging then one month off so expect some down-time in April, July and October this year. That's the plan.

Anyway I rather enjoyed the "break" which was a mixture of work and play. I started decluttering at home, although this is a massive job with no end in sight any time soon. On the 'play' side it was a chance to watch a backlog of movies and start working my way through box sets (current status: Boston Legal Season 1, One Tree Hill Season 5. Sounds like a football result.)

On the down side, there still hasn't been any time to read any of the books on my bookshelves which continue to scream "read me!" Maybe I'll do 'book month' on the next blog break in April :)

All in all, January was pretty ok. The weather wasn't too bad, after the infamous snow of November/December, and I got some weight loss too. After a spectacular fall off the wagon over last weekend, I'm back on track and entering what you would call 'phase 2' where the focus is going to be on improving fitness. Again....that's the plan. Now all I need is to stick with it :)))

Killjoys on the rampage (again)

Found out today that due to new rules I won't be allowed to blog during my break time and lunch time at work anymore, so it's only going to be evenings and weekends blogging from now on :(

Quite sad really, as I used to enjoy passing on excitable pieces of news which couldn't wait till night-time!

Zzzzzz....

Been feeling very tired this week, even though the general fitness levels are finally rising. Had a lot of stuff to do at home and that combined with my internet being out of action for a while, meant that my planned return to regular blogging was put on hold (yet again). Oh well, maybe next week???

Tomorrow is weigh-in day, which I'm quite nervous about even though the willpower has been very strong this week. Of course the new Weight Watchers plan starts next week so I'm rejoining WW Online next Monday when the Pro Points plan gets underway. The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a build-up with the food diaries etc so getting ready to throw myself into being a complete diet bore once again!

Frustration, frustration, frustration....and a blogger with a board

I'll be having some major work done in my home towards the end of the coming week. That's straightforward enough so far, although the usual chaos and carnage is expected. The timing's pretty rubbish as I'm going on holiday in 9 days' time but there you go.

However one other piece of work which urgently needs done....well it hasn't been done, we've had three rotten days as a result of said workman making a complete c**k-up and this really needs to be done...we're fed up. Alors on danse....

On the up side, the holiday is approaching (although my weight-loss battle has been lost this time, but, as those two nice Latvian boys once sang, "the war is not over"). Planning to start Zumba in October, providing I can get some co-ordination and a sense of rhythm by then :)

Even though I spend lots of time on the computer and I'm employed in administration, I wouldn't really call myself a computer whizzkid so I'm particularly chuffed that I've been able to set up a messageboard for Planet Salem. I was previously a blogger, now I'm a blogger with a board.

Three blogs and a Twitter

Being the mother of three blogs continues to be a challenge. The first-born continues to be barely maintained, which continues to cause me some grief; the middle child continues to be favoured and will be for the foreseeable future; and I'm just using the youngest to vent, and write about rubbish :)

Anyway, 2 May 2010 is my first Twitterversary = one year ago I joined Twitter, at 3.29 pm to be precise. At which time I was unwinding from pre-Düsseldorf preparations and watching the world snooker. So we come full circle. Back then it was red wine, iTunes, snacking, listening to Salem, blogging and tweeting. Nothing changes.

If I'm honest I don't tweet anywhere near my full potential, and just tend to use it for random nonsense and my endless quest for world domination for Salem. Which is a valid enough reason, I guess.

What will transpire over the tweeting-year ahead? Who knows? That's what makes it all so wonderful.

Sunshine! (Part 2)

Two dry, sunny days in a row. We're definitely not used to it :)

Unfortunately this was enough to bring out all the summer-fashion-casualties whom I witnessed whilst out shopping at lunchtime. It was enough to make me bring up my lentil soup, and bearing in mind that I wasn't feeling too great again today, then that wouldn't have taken much!

Not really much to report otherwise...I'm still having a bit of a job adjusting back into reality after my Swedish trip. Reality pretty much sucks actually, it's boring me right now, and I can't be bothered with it. I treasure my nightly escape into blog-land....

Stress, sick computers and Swedish stuff

That kind of sums up my life at the minute.

There are not enough hours in the day: I am, officially, stressed out.

Then there is the small matter of my old geriatric home computer not working properly. The internet is hanging by a thread but a combination of haywire-drivers and a load of little problems all turning into one big problem means only one thing...a reformat could be on the cards. On the plus side, at least I've backed up everything on the external drive - but on the down side it means I'll lose all my updated programs and (sob) iTunes which will need reinstalled.

Bit of deja vu now: as with almost the same time last year, my firstborn blog EuropeCrazy is running on a very limited service at the moment as everything is being concentrated on Planet Salem for the foreseeable future (well, the next 4-5 weeks in any case). Normal service will be resumed at some point, I've got a big backlog of old posts which I'm going to publish at some point, I just don't know when.

And I've now got an Olympics backlog to watch!

Bear with me ;)

Red sky at night / The joy of blogging

It was probably one of those occasions when I should have taken a photo on my all-singing all-dancing new phone, but instead I was too busy rushing down the road on my way home from work. It's a joy to be coming home in daylight (well, almost dusk) instead of darkness. Anyway I looked up at the sky and I was captivated for a moment by the clouds, which looked like grey waves lapping against the shore, and there was a little red border around each one. And no before you ask, I haven't been on the sherry trifles, but sometimes the strangest little freaks of nature just stop you in your tracks and that's what happened early this evening.

Busy but happy times at the moment. I know that blogging is only a hobby and probably shouldn't mean too much in the grand scheme of things, but it has opened up a whole exciting world for me and brought me a lot of happiness. The last week has particularly been wonderful and incredibly surreal: due to Salem's appearance in Melodifestivalen, this resulted in record visiting figures to Planet Salem since Saturday. It's delightful when you realise that other people are reading a blog which you initially started for your own interest - whether it's one person or a thousand. It's not an ego thing, but the joy of realising that other people like the same things that you do, and you're not really alone in your interest after all. Life, once again, is good.

The diet's about to take a hammering this week though, thanks to the double-whammy of faithful travelling companion's birthday tomorrow (and the resulting dinner at our fave local Indian eaterie) and then I'm taking a day off work on Friday and hanging out with him in the big city. Which of course means lunch.

It's only a minor blip though: I'm now into an exercise routine and also walking to and from work again!

So what's been happening in the life thing then???

Sunday: sickness bug. Not good, day ruined :(

Monday: training. Not delivering it this time, but on the receiving end. Very productive.

Tuesday-Friday: Catch-up / major work stress :(

Friday: Weight loss: 1 lb (add to previous week's 2 lb weight loss: it's all going well)

Saturday: Housework / wallpapering / Melodifestivalen = taking relentless happiness to a whole new level and the realisation that this blogging thing truly changes your life after all :)))

In it for the long haul

In "The Virtual Revolution", a documentary about the history of the internet screened on BBC2 in Saturday night, it was claimed that 90% of all the new blogs created since 2002 are now dormant.

I think that's quite sad really, although understandable in a way. It's a very time-consuming hobby(although ultimately rewarding, well for me anyway) but I think it's something you should stick with, life permitting.

Now all I need is the spare time to keep them all going :)

Happy days, in the real and virtual worlds

Haven't posted on here recently, not just because I'm busy with the other two blogs but mainly because it's been a very tense time of late - the last few months (and particularly the last few weeks) had brought a period of new uncertainty over my mum's health, and it's been a stressful and unsettled time. Today however, she got the all-clear. To say that we are both happy and relieved is probably an understatement, and it's just the best feeling in the world to know that she can now relax and go back to getting on with enjoying life.

Back in the virtual world of blog-land, it has also been an amazing week, thanks to some news from Sweden two days ago, which has been well documented at EuropeCrazy and Planet Salem. The Melodifestivalen announcement was particularly amazing as it was the moment when my two blog-worlds collided!!

Yes, once again, life is good :))))

How do I feel today?

Unfortunately between the last blog post and this one, there was a further stint in the dark tunnel, which should probably account for the lack of posts across my three blogs over the past 7 days.

I've been in a little depression lately, most of it due to the following, some of which are beyond my control:

• work stress;
• something work-related which I have to do over the next 3/4 months which I can't get out of and am quite frankly dreading;
• the most important one - feeling frustrated that I can't do anything about my mum's continuing poor health.

It's been a really tough time over the past couple of weeks and I don't really want to go into detail about it, but I'm trying to pick myself up again. There was some good news today as I finally booked my summer holiday, and I'll have to go a post over at EuropeCrazy about that too.

I'm not really promising anything about the extent of my blogging over the next 6 weeks, as whenever I promise posts I never deliver (e.g. the Eurovision 2009 review: maybe I should post it 6 months after the event!) but I'm planning another blog-break-week starting 31.08.09 where I'll totally take a break from posting. Am going to do this every couple of months just to keep things fresh.

I'm hoping that things should pick up on EuropeCrazy during the autumn.

It's been quite a busy year at Planet Salem, but I think that little blog will be taking a break for at least a couple of months after the middle of August - as the man himself will also be taking a well-earned rest with only a couple of gigs here and there. That's unless there's more news to report?

I still enjoy blogging though, so don't worry I won't be going anywhere :)

Va va voom regained.

It just struck me the other week that I'd been blogging for two years and three months and during that time I never really had a break from my favourite hobby, apart from when I went away on holiday, so I thought it would be a good idea to take a little break away from the blogs for a couple of weeks.


I'd recommend that this is a very good idea to do this from time to time so I'll probably do it again in a couple of months.

Anyway I'm feeling more upbeat now after some personal difficulties - all sorted out now - and another of those bouts of fatigue which I get from time to time, again I'm getting over this and feeling better.

And then this week I found out that Salem will be playing in Gothenburg again next March, and my 'hyper-levels' just shot through the roof!! I'm determined to get over there to see him play again, of course it will all depend on flight availability/ticket availability/whether I can get time off/whether faithful travelling companion can get time off, blah blah blah.

Here we go again..!!!

"Can I get a relaunch?"

A little Avid Merrion moment there, it's enough to make you burst into a chorus of "Craaaaaig David!"

But I digress.

I'm having a break from busy-busy-home-improvementy times because it's the bank holiday weekend, there's been plenty of work of late so now it's time for rest and play. Which means it's back to blogging from tonight onwards! Yay!!!

The big news is that the never-ending search for a new sofa and two chairs for the EuropeCrazy living room finally ended yesterday, and it should be here in 6 weeks or so :)