Thoughts on friendship

Throughout my childhood and adult life I have always found it difficult to make friends, for the sole reason that I have always been introverted, quiet and shy, and that seems to be a problem for some people to deal with.   Yet I have been lucky enough to enjoy an enduring friendship with three other wonderful women, which has lasted over 20 years and continues to this day.  We initially met as work colleagues and formed our own little group in response to being left out of the 'cliques' which often seem to characterise workplace friendships.

My friends, who are a bit older than I am, are all retired now but we all continue to meet up for lunch or coffee. The other week, when we were fortunate enough to experience that rare thing called 'good weather', we all met up on my day off and enjoyed a very special lunch out in 'the country'.  I had such a happy time that day, being with "the girls".  They accept me for who I am, and have been there for me in good and bad times.   That is the nature of true friendship. 

This week I had to come to terms with the end of another long-lasting friendship, a casualty of the fall-out from my 'breakdown' (for want of a better word).  The past few months have been an extremely hurtful time, of mistakes, misunderstandings, misconceptions and mistrust.  I'm no longer relentlessly cheerful, and I'm no longer going to smile just because people expect me to.  But I am trying to move on, and being the typical Libran I am trying to make peace with those whom I may have hurt.  But what they don't realise is that I am hurting too.

EDIT: just when everything seemed dark and impossible to overcome, things started to change.  I went on holiday and came back free of the darkness which had overwhelmed me over recent months. And that friendship is back on, so all is well :)